Gird your loins, everyone, because with Thor opening this weekend, the long summer slog of superhero movies is upon us. Some of them are so good, but some of them are so damn crappy. That's why I've devised a simple formula to figure out which is which.
This weekend saw disappointing figures for two new movies, meaning that fourquels and movies based on 60-second SNL skits might have a hard time getting made for the next... oh, year or so. After that, we're good to go again.
Wham! Rattle! Clank! That's the sound of medieval commoners doing battle with a giant cherry red robot. Naturally the robot won. But the little villagers actually did OK. Way better than they could have done considering the odds.
Getting in shape for any movie is hard. But the preparation for Iron Man 2 undertaken by Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. was like a NASA experiment. Gwyneth ate only Kale; Robert hit truck tires with a sledgehammer.
Why bother going to San Diego for Comic-Con when you can just sit in your living room and read all the good coverage of it! Now, when you talk to your nerdy sci-fi friends, you won't look like an idiot.
It's a bad time to be a Marvel movie actor, unless you're Robert Downey Jr. (or Gwyneth Paltrow, who'd be the first to say that it is always a good time to be Gwyneth Paltrow).
Too Many Irons In the Fire: Though Robert Downey Jr. is signed on for an Iron Man sequel and an Avengers film that will group together Marvel heroes including Thor, the Hulk, and Captain America, the actor is starting to sounds a little concerned about the latter property. "If we don't get it right, it's really going to suck," he told MTV. "Nothing that happened in Iron Man is really outside the realm of possibility. Once you start talking about Valhalla and supersized super soldiers and jolly green giants, it warrants much further discussion." [MTV]
Having already dodged one crotch-burning close call this week, Robert Downey Jr. wasn't about to set himself up for another one for the sadists at MTV. In an interview this afternoon, the Iron Man star hewed close to the Marvel party line when asked about the expulsion of co-star Terrence Howard from geek Eden in favor of an allegedly less-difficult Don Cheadle:
When it was announced that Don Cheadle would be taking on Terrence Howard's role in Iron Man 2, a simple explanation of "financial differences" (as well as an inability to get the War Machine costume sufficiently baby-wiped) was all that was forthcoming from the filmmakers' side. Then, Howard spoke to NPR and compared the Marvel braintrust to a non-singing network of pimps, forcing the filmmaking team to take the gloves off. Now, in a discussion with EW, sources close to Marvel and director Jon Favreau leaked the real details behind Howard's firing, and they involve bad acting and one very surprising salary:
The "pimps" at Marvel Studios may have finally closed the deal that pulled the last inch of Iron Man's blockbuster rug from beneath Terrence Howard, but a radical group of franchise purists are fighting his ouster with the new petition "Terrence Howard as War Machine in Iron Man 2." It seems a legal impossibility at this point, with Don Cheadle locked in as Col. Jim Rhodes, but! As the scrappy revolutionaries in Audrina Patridge's neighborhood showed us on Tuesday, there is no affront that can't be corrected with a surge of Democratic fervor — and maybe some fanboy earnestness to spare:
In an appearance Saturday on NPR's Weekend Edition, Terrence Howard interrupted his discussion of his new album with a Zen meditation on his recent departure from the Iron Man franchise. And if it seemed unusual last week that Howard might bow out of the blockbuster's sequel, leaving his role as Tony Stark confidante Jim Rhodes (and his own heroic alter-ego War Machine) to the capable, cheaper hands of Don Cheadle, the scenario didn't get any clearer as the actor wavered between the high road and calling Marvel Studios a scandalous gang of thieves and pimps:
· Now playing: The new trailer for Changeling, your official 2008 vintage Angelina Jolie Oscar Bait™ [YouTube] · For every dollar Nicole Kidman made in 2007, her films made a dollar. You don't need a calculator to guess what that makes her. [Forbes] · This should make Terry Giiliam happy: Warner Bros. plans a January Dark Knight rerelease to coincide with Oscar nominations. [Reuters] · Would Rose McGowan make a better IRA car bomber or executioner? If this was 1971, according to her we might have found out by now. [BBC] · If Jon Favreau had his way, Iron Man 2 would be in 3-D. Whoa! Hold it there, big fella — has anyone consulted Justin Theroux about this? [Collider]
Hints abound today that the wheels may be coming off the souped-up Dark Knight bandwagon — and not just at the box office, where some estimates have Tropic Thunder usurping the top spot this weekend. TDK's sweeping cultural influence may be in jeopardy as well, with its Greatest! Movie! Ever! status now reduced to a nonsensical three-way tie at IMDB and a pair of formidable opponents shaping up across town at Camp Iron Man. In case you missed it, Robert Downey Jr. has already resorted to dramatic efforts of Batsabotage ("Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. ... You know what? F-ck DC comics"), and now jealousy-inspiring actor/screenwriter Justin Theroux has enlisted exactly the kind of metaphorical bitchslap we'd expect from his soaring geekcake talent:
