On Sunday, six gunmen from Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM), the terrorist group’s North African affiliate, killed 16 people, including four Europeans and two special forces soldiers, in an attack on hotels in Grand Bassam, a beach resort town in Ivory Coast.

The French rolled up in more than 30 armored cars to the compound of Ivory Coast 'strongman' Laurent Gbagbo today and finally arrested him. All hail the French! The civil war sparked by Gbagbo's refusal to step down following his election loss last November is hopefully reaching its conclusion. This will come as terrible news to several prominent evangelical Christians back here in America.

Famed Democratic lawyer Lanny Davis, who was paid $100,000 a month to represent President Laurent Gbagbo of the Ivory Coast, quit yesterday, probably because it's hard to defend a murderer like Gbagbo, who lost his reelection bid last month.

A guy tried to pass off two $1 million U.S. bills at the UAE's Central bank. Hey, if you're going to be a terrible counterfeiter, you might as well be a cartoonishly incompetent one.

North Korea was defeated handily by the Ivory Coast today, 3-0. Having not won a single game, our favorite squad of plucky autocratic regime subjects are returning home. There they'll face hard labor or an outpouring of nationalist appreciation.