[J-WOWW Jersey, who married into the kingdom of Hobo Ken, arrives in her ancestral homeland of Long Island; image via INF]

• Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods may remain married, after all. Tiger supposedly wants to keep the relationship together because he "wants to go back to being a golf star with major endorsements," and is hoping to convince people he's "a good family man." (Good luck with that.) As for Nordegren, she'd like to make the marriage work for the sake of their two kids and is willing to stick with Woods "even if she and Tiger live together as friends instead of lovers." This all sounds incredibly promising, doesn't it? [People, NYDN]
• Exciting news, Jersey Shore fans: MTV and the cast of the hit show are said to be close to ironing out their differences over pay, and the fist-pumping and fake tanning may return to the air as soon as this summer. [Variety]
• In other Shore news, someone is shopping around naked photos of Jenni "J-Woww" Farley despite the fact that there's very little of her body that we haven't already seen. And Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi thinks of herself as "too classy" to be seen in the vicinity of Jerry Springer. [Radar, P6]
• What's going on with Brad and Angelina? According to one report, the couple did meet meet with a lawyer last week, but it was to do a little estate planning and "protect their children and property in case there's a rift in the future," not because they're actually planning to divorce. Then again a source tells E! that Brad Pitt hasn't been showering much recently and smells "like a wandering homeless person," which probably doesn't bode well. [NYDN, People, E!]

Jersey Shore kids scoff at The Hills and Jerry Springer; Brangelina's PR team floats a new break-up excuse; Stephanie Pratt gets bounced; Nancy Grace's suicide-inducement trial will be televised, after all. Wednesday's gossip roundup is full of Schadenfreude.

Jenni Farley of Jersey Shore is a busy, busy girl. In addition to her role as "MTV's newest sensation of reality TV," J-Woww's the founder of a clothing line, graphic design company, and "Long Island's top promotional company," and she recently introduced "an Insane Liquid formula that will gaurantee [sic] weight loss," too. All this has made her a very popular person, as you can probably imagine. But she doesn't want to see any of her devoted fans getting injured when they show up to her "homecoming celebration" later this week, a point she'll undoubtedly be stressing when she addresses her "security issues" at a press conference tomorrow:

Amy Winehouse's self-destruction takes an unexpected turn into bimboland. Jersey Shore's stars get greedy and want fake boobs. NBC infighting escalates. LaToya Jackson has a new shot at fame. Tila Tequila takes aim at Megan Fox. Jai ho, Monday gossip.

A leaked email from NYU Law's student listserv reveals a fight to book Snooki at a bargain-basement rate of $2000. As the email battle rages, Snooki's price rises. A comparative analysis reveals post-bar-brawl Snooki as the show's fastest-rising moneymaker.

This weekend, the New York Times tried to find redeeming value in MTV's Jersey Shore, the most important sociological artifact of our time. Sorry, but trying to find any good in this show is missing the point entirely.