Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.

Speaking of the worst shows on television: Bombshell "Bombshell" McGee and Jamie Jungers have been offered a reality show: Called "Celebrity Cheaters" it would "catch celebrity cheaters with their pants down." And the cycle begins anew. [TMZ]

Isn't it amazing that with all those mistresses doing all those interviews, no one never mentioned Tiger's, uh, size? Thanks to intrepid gossip journalist Jo Piazza and kiss-and-teller Jamie Jungers we now have our answer. [Pic via Getty]

On loan to Milan's team, Becks performs a strip tease, revealing handsome undies. LiLo is involved in a hit and run. Whitney and Brody "canoodle." Elijah Wood hosts Lord of the Wings, an eating contest. Here comes Monday gossip.

Fine, here: Jamie Jungers, the most desperate of the Tiger Woods love interests, is being repped by incompetent superflack (and Douche candidate) Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR. We're told this was filmed right in the 5W office. Seems right. CLARIFICATION:

From sports drinks to action figures, Tiger was once an industry unto himself. The Tiger Woods economy may have crashed, but in its place we now have the Tiger's woodies economy, repackaging and selling the women who turned him on.

• Tiger Woods' mistress tally is quickly approaching the double digits. Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, says she had a two-year affair with Woods; then there's Cori Rist, an aspiring model, who says she started seeing Woods after meeting him at Butter. To top it all off, porn star Holly Sampson has also been mentioned as a woman Woods was involved with, although she's yet to confirm or deny the report. Meanwhile, Queen Oprah thoughtfully reached out to Tiger over the weekend and offered him the opportunity to tell his side of the story, and that may be his best chance yet of somehow saving his rep at this point. [NYDN, E! NYDN]
• Alexa Joel, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, is recovering at home after what seems to have been a suicide attempt on Saturday. Joel took a bunch of homeopathic sleeping pills—possibly because she was upset over a break-up—and then called 911 herself. [NYP, NYDN, NYP]

Wow. A fourth mistress: out of the woodwork, claiming to have slept with Tiger Woods. The number of opportunities to make bad golf jokes is extraordinary. Let's try to resist the temptation as we count up Tiger's many strokes.