Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

"Mommy is white trash," she allegedly told them. Katie Holmes contemplates bearing more Cruise children. Lou Reed makes Susan Boyle cry. Thursday gossip puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Don't worry, she followed it up with "shhh." A Real Housewife gets bounced from Fashion Week. Kelly Osbourne and Peaches Geldof's elaborate dance of avoidance implodes. John Mayer's so far gone, even Oprah won't touch him. Wednesday gossip cometh.