When asked about The Devil Wears Prada, designer Jean Paul Gaultier tells the Independent: "Anna Wintour is a lot more monstrous than she is described!" Pack your bags, Jean Paul, because it looks like your fashion career is over.

Did Jesse James turn Sandra Bullock into a lesbian? Or was it Scarlett Johansson's singular hotness? Gary Coleman death photos for sale. Lindsay Lohan explores exciting new ways to hide her SCRAM bracelet. Monday gossip is the best revenge.

France's first lady is tres embarrassed that an old, raunchy episode of a talk show called Eurotrash has surfaced online. Now the French government is scrambling to get it yanked from YouTube. Here's what they don't want you to see.

[Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one? Jean Paul Gaultier poses, with fake black eye and blood and stuff, with known abuser Brown, backstage at Gaultier's Paris menswear fashion show. Ick. Image via Getty]

• Conan O'Brien's final Tonight Show airs tonight. Then he'll head off to count the enormous pile of cash that NBC just gave him while he waits until September 1, which is when he'll first be permitted to host another talk show as part of the deal he signed with the network. As for NBC, it will air reruns of The Tonight Show until the Olympics start, with Jay Leno officially returning to his (very tarnished) throne on March 1. [TMZ, THR, WSJ]
• It looks like things are going from bad to worse for Mischa Barton. Her landlord has filed a lawsuit against her for failing to pay three months of rent on her $7,000-a-month Tribeca apartment before moving out of the place late last year. [NYDN, P6]
• Lady Gaga looked pretty banged up when she appeared outside her "Monster Ball" show last night to sign autographs. She she had bizarre cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs. And those mustard-colored extensions she's been wearing as of late aren't helping matters. [The Sun, 3am]

Jean Paul Gaultier is the latest big-name fashion designer to sign on to do a collection for Target. You can look forward to buying pointy-bra tops and corsets along with kitchen appliances and kids' toys—all at one super-convenient location—beginning next March. [Cut]

• The September Issue debuted at the Museum of Modern Art on Wednesday night and the fashion set turned out en masse, not surprisingly. Just a few bits from the big event: Anna Wintour couldn't stop talking up Fashion's Night Out; Thakoon gushed that Anna is now "bigger than Madonna"; the film's unlikely star, Grace Coddington, emphasized that she really never wanted to take part in it; everyone ignored Tom Florio; Diddy claimed Anna as his fashion "godmother"; and Marc Jacobs, who insisted on putting on a French accent when speaking to reporters, argued that contrary to what most people think, Anna's really very "maternal and caring."
• Speaking of Jacobs, rumor has it his wedding to Lorenzo Martone will go down this weekend in Provincetown. And his big Fashion Week after-party, which was canceled last year, will return this fall.

Gossip Cindy Adams celebrates her 79th birthday today. Barbra Streisand is 67. Designer Jean-Paul Gaultier turns 57. Mets star Carlos Beltran is turning 32. Playwright Eric Bogosian is 56. Djimon Hounsou (and Kimora Lee's significant other) is 45. Political reporter Andrew Kirtzman turns 48. Mystery writer Sue Grafton is turning 69. Veteran diplomat Richard Holbrook is 67. Kelly Clarkson is 27. Cedric the Entertainer is turning 45. And Shirley MacLaine is 75. Weekend birthdays—including that of the newly-named worst CEO ever, Dick Fuld, this Sunday—after the jump!

• The star at Jean Paul Gaultier's couture show in Paris this week? Inès de la Fressange, a 51-year-old model and mother of two. [WSJ, SF]
• After six seasons away from Bryant Park, Narciso Rodriguez is returning to the tents this season. [WWD]
• Betsey Johnson says she plans to revive some of her old designs as part of a new line. [Pipeline]
• Sales of luxury goods are expected to fall 3% and 7% this year. [WSJ]
• Five trends from couture week in Paris to keep an eye on. [Pipeline]
• LVMH has confirmed it's helping out Gareth Pugh. [Vogue UK]
• The lookbook for Isaac Mizrahi's Liz Claiborne collection is online. [Racked]
• Fabien Baron is leaving Interview. [WWD]
• A pair of Sarah Palin's shoes sold on Ebay for $2,025. No joke. [NYM]

The documentary about Anna Wintour and Vogue, The September issue, which is showing at Sundance this weekend, sounds like it will be a nostalgic look at a golden era when advertisers had huge budgets, readers had disposable income, and print media still had a reasonably healthy pulse: Based on footage gathered during the months before the publication of the September '07 issue, Vogue's biggest-ever, the film goes behind the scenes at the fashion bible and exposes the creatives processes of its inner circle like Grace Coddington (who filmmaker R.J. Cutler said was "unhappy" about the presence of his cameras), as well as delves into Wintour's personal life.

• Gisele is engaged. [People]
• Fur is back. Jean Paul Gaultier, Karl Lagerfeld and Giorgio Armani are among the designers leading the rebellion. [Ind.]
• Despite the recession (and a gazillion lawsuits), American Apparel is one of the few retailers seeing record profits. [WWD]
• Sass & Bide has dropped out of New York Fashion Week. [Fashionista]
• With marketing budgets on the decline, more designers are looking for a boost from Hollywood's awards season. [WSJ]
• Menswear designer Ferruccio Pozzoni is departing Valentino. [Reuters]
• As expected, vacancies are up on Madison Avenue. [Crain's]
• The worst of the worst from the Stephen Sprouse party last week. [Pipeline]
• Rumor has it Elite is cutting both models and bookers. [NYM]
• Blake Lively refuses to wear anything but a size zero. The solution? The Gossip Girl costume department cuts the tags out of larger samples. [FWD]

♦ Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Karolina Kurkova were just a few of the models who took to the stage in Miami this weekend for the Victoria's Secret show where the company unveiled its latest publicity stunt at the celeb-packed event, the $5 million Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra by jeweler Martin Katz. [Vogue UK, E!, ABC]
♦ Prada is gamely adapting to the economy by launching a new line of purses that are all—gasp—under $1,000. [Nylon]
♦ As if today's tiny fashion victims don't have enough to choose from, Jean Paul Gaultier has inked a licensing deal to make children's clothes. [WWD]
♦ Vanity Fair's fashion department tried to go on a $150,000 shopping spree à la Sarah Palin and discovered it's actually kind of hard to blow that kind of cash. [VF]

Screw you, Karl Lagerfeld! Yep, we totally ran this with no warning, and no "after the jump," or anything. It's Jean Paul Gaultier's comment on the skinny model debate, as seen in the Daily Mail's coverage of Paris Fashion Week. Yowza.