Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

Orlando Bloom passes on playing Will Turner to be with his girlfriend, Megan Fox thinks zombies are sexy, Tara Reid is quite skinny, Paris Hilton claims to have inspired Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse almost dies after a binge.

Oooh, look! It's Diablo Cody's follow-up to her Academy Award-winning (shoot me) Juno. The redband (NSFW?) trailer for Jennifer's Body, a snarky horror movie about Megan Fox being a righteous man-eating demon, has been released and we're... oddly intrigued.

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the 12th annual Hollywood Film Festival awards, popular culture impresario Diablo Cody decided to celebrate Halloween a few days earlier, doing her best zombie walk down the red carpet. Cody described herself as a fresh zombie, just a couple of hours old, but also felt she could go another way with her outfit. Cody said, “It’s a tad Stepfordy too. Like if Pris from Blade Runner was somebody’s wife.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

After taking two months off from her Myspace blog (but not her Twitter), Oscar-winning leopard print fan Diablo Cody returned to the medium yesterday — but this was not to be some simple homecoming. Cody had a bone to pick with fans who she sensed had begun to reject the cool, refreshing taste of Sunny D in favor of a nice, tall glass of Haterade, and the Juno screenwriter wasn't about to suffer their attacks in silence. Instead, in a post entitled "Hello Again! (Starring Shelly Long)," Cody decided to get something off her chest (and it wasn't whipped cream):

Though the upcoming Diablo Cody thriller Jennifer's Body may cover up more of actress Megan Fox than people were expecting, at least Fox makes up for it by exposing herself in the latest edition of GQ. Few subjects are left untouched in the wide-ranging interview, whether it's her boyfriend's penis ("Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me"), Disney ("Fuck Disney"), or her Transformers director (when asked if the Transformers sequel will give the actress more to do, Fox flatly responds, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay"). Still, most tongues will wag when Fox recalls the female stripper she fell in love with at LA's full-frontal emporium The Body Shop when she was just 18:

It seemed like the upcoming horror-comedy Jennifer's Body had a foolproof formula for success: take Oscar-winning writer Diablo Cody, cast sexy Mother Teresa-assayer Megan Fox, throw in a nude scene, and laugh all the way to the blood bank. Sadly, it looks like producers may have trimmed one of the film's main selling points, if a new review posted at JoBlo is any indication. Though the amateur critic had not been keen to see the film, a friend lured him in with what proved to be false advertising:

We knew we were experiencing déjà vampire when first we glimpsed HBO's central marketing image for Alan Ball's new series True Blood—something we mistakenly attributed to the iconic Rocky Horror lips (soon to be played by Audrina Patridge's vagina in an MTV remake—but more on that later!). But it was only upon seeing the virtually identical key art for sunlight-resistant Diablo Cody's Jennifer's Body that the true inspiration for both campaigns hit us: A portrait of Angelina Jolie from Entertainment Weekly in which the actress plays up her succubus image, savoring what we like to imagine were the last drops of Billy Bob Thornton's hemogravy after a particularly rough session of Hide the Stake. Click to experience the full cannibalistic scope of this bloody marketing horror!

Isn't it strange how that rare affliction of being mystically "unable" to gain weight only strikes female celebrities? It seems poor Megan Fox has that very woe to deal with atop her many other personal struggles, like pretending her engagement to one-earring trendmaker Brian Austin Green is still on, and trying ever so desperately to let a director (any director!) just film her nude already. But the newly "scrawny" Fox has reportedly been chastised about her skinny frame by Transformers 2 director Michael Bay, who has demanded that the busty Jolie successor put on 10 pounds or find a new gig. While Megan's resorted to stuffing herself with cake every night in bed, we might suggest the Anne Hathaway Quick Speed Diet: apparently breaking up with a grade A loser leads to dropping 28 pounds in no time!

Pictured, tropical-bird-whisperer and Transformers star Megan Fox on the set of Jennifer's Body, the Diablo Cody-penned, super-kinetic Raimian horror film currently shooting in Vancouver. Wet, trembling, and with only two flesh-colored pasties (nothing to do with modesty, but actually a scripted wink to Cody's vocational past) preventing the full scope of her goodies from being on glorious display, it seems as though Fox, playing the film's bloodthirsty cheerleader protagonist, has mastered the "body" half of the title's equation. All that's left now is for her to tackle the tricky cadences of Cody's trademarked, Academy Award-winning dialogue, at which point the full of impact of lines like "Fried bologna is the bomb!" and "Slow down tardy slip. You sound like a sped," will earn the actress the Saturn nominations that have so eluded her until now.

Although we did recently declare a temporary moratorium on burger phone jokes, it is worth noting that a blogger who goes by the handle of Big Ross recently got his hands on a copy of Diablo Cody's first post-Juno script, entitled Jennifer's Body. Megan Fox (Transformers) and director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux) are attached to the horror/thriller about a cheerleader who somehow becomes possessed by a demonic spirt which compels her to start offing all of the dudes at her high school. And while we haven't actually seen the script ourselves, from what Big Ross describes, we feel pretty safe declaring that Diablo's streak of consecutive Oscar nominations will come to an end at one.