Recently, a famous person said things he shouldn't have said while not realizing that his microphone was turned on. We honestly can't believe people still do this! They've been doing it since the inventions of microphones though, basically. And since the invention of Interet Video, we can watch and rewatch these fuckups over and over again! Video guru Nick McGlynn put a couple of the more choice live-mic mistakes together into one great clip. Remember when Kyra Phillips bitched about her brother-in-law in the bathroom and somehow the audio interrupted a Bush speech? Remember when President Reagan rambled about nuking Russia? Remember when Jesse Jackson said he would tear Barack Obama's nuts off? Now you don't have to "remember" any of those things because they are all right here in this post.

Reverend Jesse Jackson's secretly videotaped vow to cut off Barack Obama's nuts is a wonderful story, combining inter-generational resentment, racial politics and testicles. A wonderful story, that is, for every media outlet except Maer Roshan's Radar. The magazine is backed in name at least by Yusef Jackson, the Reverend's hotter and gayer son, who would have been better advised to stick with glamorous and manly beer distributorship his father arranged for him.

Last night, after airing footage of Jesse Jackson whispering that he wanted to "cut [Obama's] nuts off" for "talking down to black people" on faith-based federal initiatives, Bill O'Reilly said on his Fox News show that the network had further, "more damaging" footage of Jackson talking that it did not air (see the last video here). O'Reilly was, perhaps, trying to sound like he was taking the high road, but really just came off like yet another Fox News smear artist. Now, a Fox News staffer is doing some whispering of his own about what Jackson said, and it seems inevitable the cable news channel will have to back up O'Reilly's allegations with full details. Citing a coworker friend who had seen the tape, the New York-based Fox staffer tells us Jackson referred to Obama "using the n-word — [and] not 'Nilla." The source also shed light on why it took three days for Jackson's comments to emerge.

Bill O'Reilly just aired the much-hyped but apparently very brief video Fox News has of civil rights leader Jesse Jackson saying he wants to "cut [Barack Obama's] nuts off." It sounds like Jackson is upset over the Democratic presidential candidate's position on faith-based federal initiatives. But that's beside the point. First off, what left-wing political activist worth his salt whispers sensitive, private thoughts like these while fully mic-ed at a Fox News affiliate? More to the point, did Jackson learn absolutely nothing from the "Hymietown" fiasco in 1984, when he tried to make off-the-record remarks about Jews in New York to reporters on a campaign airplane flight? Anyway, Jackson has already apologized, and the two guests brought on by O'Reilly didn't think it was a big deal (one because Jackson already apologized, and one because he argues Jackson's not taken seriously anymore anyway) . Video of Jackson's comments and text of his apology are after the jump. UPDATE: O'Reilly also said Fox News has audio of Jackson that is "more damaging that what you heard" but won't air it because it's not relevant and the sensitive network is not out to get Jesse Jackson. Video after the jump. UPDATE 2:

Oh hey look everyone, Jesse Jackson said terrible things about Barack Obama while a microphone was on, and now, oddly, Fox News has this tape! Sean Hannity talked about it on the radio today, and Bill O'Reilly will be playing the tape tonight, on his show. OMG they are creaming themselves. Drudge already has the apology and no one has heard the tape yet! Reportedly, the Reverend is upset that Obama "talks down to black people on matters of faith," and then, more colorfully, he says he wants to rip Obama's nuts off. Maybe? "Hannity would not say 'nuts,' but based on his description (portion of the male anatomy beginning with an 'n') I believe that's the word he was going for." So this is basically great news for everyone!

Supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle's name keeps popping up in the oddest places, doesn't it? When conman Rafaello Follieri was finally busted last week, the suit filed against him by his former business partner Burkle kept coming up. Jeffrey Epstein-finally sentenced yesterday for sex with a minor-used to be "very friendly" with Ron. They compared notes on planes! In that Vanity Fair story that upset Bill Clinton so much, it was Burkle who had those unnamed staffers worried about the appearance of impropriety. Now-the oddest one yet?-King of Pop Michael Jackson announced in a court deposition that it was Ron Burkle, along with the Reverend Jesse Jackson, who saved his life when he ran out of money. Burkle brought in the Reverend to help, and Burkle's also done quite a bit of business with the Reverend's son Yusef (they own Radar together!). What a cast of unlikely characters! Did this rogues' gallery of amoral power-junkies select Ron, or vice versa? Why does the ostensibly liberal do-gooder zillionaire associate with these guys?

From time to time the news cycle offers up an event of such import and complexity that it can only be comprehended through the medium of musical theater. Ben Greenman, the Rodgers & Hammerstein of the age (or, at least the Hammerstein), will lead you down the Great White Way to understanding. Shhh, the curtain's starting to rise!