Proving once again that he can do anything, former pro-wrestler, Minnesota governor and balding conspiracy theorist Jesse Ventura won a defamation suit against a dead Navy SEAL Tuesday afternoon, and the dead Navy SEAL's estate now owes Jesse Ventura $1.845 million.
Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson has dropped out of the Republican presidential race. He rarely ever polled above 8 — people, not percentage points. He made a popular Rush Limbaugh joke about doggie poop during one of the two debates in which he appeared. He took his shirt off for the papers and rode a bike. He courted pagans, online gamblers, and other knaves. And now he will run for the Libertarian party nomination, and maybe decide the presidential election.
If you see Arianna Huffington today, don't forget to say "xronia polla." The pundit, author and Greek native is 59. Others celebrating today: Beth Ostrosky Stern is turning 37. Actress Diane Kruger is turning 33. Paul Sevigny is 38. Forest Whitaker is 48. Guitar legend Joe Satriani turns 53. David Easton, the prominent interior designer, is turning 73. Club owner Don Hill is 65. Real estate scion Dan Tishman is turning 54. Former wrestler (and governor) Jesse Ventura is 58. Actor Scott Foley is turning 37. Marky Ramone of The Ramones is 56. Brian Austin Green is 36. And Brigitte Nielsen celebrates her 46th birthday today.
· In what's being labeled as an effort to snag iTunes marketshare, Dell will give PC buyers the option to preload Iron Man on its new computers. Before you laugh: That incursion is being led by a man with whom Apple settled a wrongful-termination lawsuit in 2005. Never underestimate a software-wonk scorned. [THR] · And if you act now, Paramount and Marvel may throw in five more co-releases — including Thor, Captain America and The Avengers — at no extra charge through 2011! Operators are standing by! [Variety] After the jump: David Gordon Green gets animated, Robert Duvall ponies up and Ellen Burstyn does serious drugs with Tim Robbins.· Finally, at age 77, Robert Duvall is bravely venturing into the uncharted career territory of Westerns, attaching himself to star in an untitled drama about the Pony Express. From AMC, of course, which makes him a likely Emmy front-runner in 2010. [Variety] · Talk about dodging a bullet: By going straight to TV with his animated Fox surfer comedy Good Vibes, a relieved David Gordon Green won't be forced to follow Matthew McConaughey's recent beachgoing high-water mark Surfer, Dude. [Variety] · Jesse Ventura's predictable career arc will continue ever-skyward when he hosts an untitled "conspiracy theory" reality show for truTV, in which the ex-wrestler/actor/politico will "hunt down answers, plunging viewers into a world of secret meetings, midnight surveillance, shifty characters and dark forces." Or, as they call it in Minnesota, running for reelection. [AP] · Ellen Burstyn will join fellow Oscar-winner Tim Robbins for his Showtime pilot Possible Side Effects, a drama set in the pharmaceutical industry — kind of like Mad Men, but with scores of exquisitely photographed pills in the place of cigarettes. [Variety]
Oh hey, that empty threat former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura issued to run for Senate? Well because of all the goddamn attention he got from the media he's actually going to do it. He's gotta keep having reasons to show up on The Tonight Show! Now Ventura will run against repellent prick Senator Toothy Coleman and less-repellent comedian Al Franken. Because hey, that race was not yet enough of a fucking freak show! [ABC]
Because Minnesota cannot bear not being the laughingstock of a nation with plenty of contenders to that title, they may very well elect comedian Al Franken to the United States Senate this year. Or perhaps Jesse "The Body" Ventura, the noted Predator star and former professional wrestler. And governor of the state. Great work, guys. (Well, Ventura doesn't actually seem that inclined to run. He's just threatening to because he so dislikes Franken and Norm Coleman. Which, yeah, we do too, but we'd still rather see Carl Weathers in that seat. Someday all of our elected officials will have their political resumes replayed on TBS every Saturday afternoon.) [KARE11]
