• Is Anne Hathaway going to replace Victoria Beckham as Marc Jacobs' latest muse? That's the rumor, at least. [Daily Mail]
• One more rumor: It's said Olivier Theyskens may be taking over at Halston. [Hint]
• It's not all bad news on Madison Avenue: Jil Sander and Nanette Lepore both have stores opening in the next few months. [FWD]
• Lindsay Lohan's latest brand extension? A line of panty hose, naturally. [WWD]
• Barneys is getting a small (but much-needed) infusion of cash. [NYP]
• Filene's Basement is not bankrupt. Not yet, at least. [NYP]
• Jessica Joffe goes topless for Katy Rodriguez. [Pipeline]
• The Cut has the list of every piece of clothing Michelle Obama wore on her trip overseas. And it includes the Alaïa cardigan that she wore twice. [NYM]

Topshop hosted a private dinner at Balthazar last night to celebrate the opening of its new store in Soho. Attendees included Karolina Kurkova and Georgina Chapman (left), Harvey Weinstein, Jay-Z, Jimmy Fallon and Nancy Juvonen, Zach Braff, Amy Sacco, Mark Ronson, Ann Dexter-Jones, Annabelle Dexter-Jones, Andrew Saffir, Theodora Richards, Steve Stoute, Cathy Horyn, Stefano Tonchi, Sally Singer, Amy Astley, Eva Amurri, Greg K., Leigh Lezark, Jessica Joffe, Michelle Trachtenberg, Taylor Momsen, Le Call, Jonathan Saunders, Sue Stemp, Steven Kolb, Christopher Kane, Brent Bolthouse, Emily Mortimer, Emma Roberts, Cecilia Dean, Meredith Melling Burke, Nikolai Fraiture, Santigold, Steve Aoki, Benny Shabtai, Michelle Monaghan, and Topshop's very own Sir Philip Green, along with his wife Tina and daughter Chloe. [PMc, Wireimage, Getty, Paper]

However much you might wish to, there's absolutely no escaping the increasingly well-documented trend for men to sport major facial hair (especially if you've recently ventured into Williamsburg, which is like stepping into the Appalachians). Amid all the hype, though, a very important related issue has been neglected, namely, what horrible afflictions might befall a woman obliged to kiss one of these hirsute creatures? "Chafing, eczema or acne brought on by beards isn't that uncommon," says dermatologist Hema Sundaram, and she warns that facial burns that bleed might require antibiotics. We do hope that porcelain-skinned model Jessica Joffe's new romance isn't subjecting her to such horrors!

The news that Luke Janklow and his wife Julie were divorcing first surfaced two weeks ago, and last week the couple's townhouse hit the market for $24.95 million. But the literary agent to the rich and famous (such as Anderson Cooper and Gwyneth Paltrow) hasn't been sitting at home mourning the dissolution of his marriage. We hear that Janklow is now dating Jessica Joffe, the flame-tressed social scenester and occasional model/writer who was famously involved with singer Ryan Adams until last year.

♦ Did you attempt to get your hands on some Comme des Garçons for H&M today? You're braver than us. [Racked]
♦ Cathy Horyn provides a clear-eyed assessment of Barack Obama's sartorial style, pointing out that "his jeans are the loose, jingle-the-change-in-your-pocket type. He belts them at the waist, and when he wears them with white sneakers and a windbreaker, one could almost say he had stolen the look from Jerry Seinfeld's character on the television series." [NYT]
♦ At Diane von Furstenberg's party for Financial Times editor Vanessa Friedman, André Leon Talley broadcast his delight over Obama's victory in the most appropriate way: The back of his coat was emblazoned with "The New American Dream" in crystals. [WWD]
♦ Also gushing about the Obamas? Donna Karan, who says: "I'm hoping to get to work with them—it would be my dream. They are so committed to ideals that are much in alignment with mine." [WWD]

Everybody's always been fascinated by Jessica Joffe, due to her glamorous career-juggling ways: she's kind of a writer/blogger/socialite/model/ex-girlfriend of Ryan Adams type. Sounds fun, but is that her in this ad for Talbots, pictured in a Wall Street Journal article headlined, "'Dowdy' Talbots Hopes Makeover Can Revive Sales"? If so, it's a bit of a step down from her old gigs posing for Uniqlo, J. Crew, and Banana Republic. [WSJ]

• While in a British courtroom, during her divorce from Paul McCartney, Heather Mills poured a pitcher of water on one of the ex-Beatle's lawyers. The Times has a scandalous courtroom sketch of the whole thing because they shamelessly support sketch-artist-paparazzi. [Times]

He's back on the web! You might know the scruffster for his music (Love Is Hell), but you might also know him from his entertaining oversharey Internet exploits! Exhibit 1: sending us a poem for ex-girlfriend, writer Jessica Joffe, after she blocked his email. Exhibit 2: Making multiple YouTube videos about said breakup. Now that he's back, we hope to read his delightfully unedited thoughts for a long, long time. To wit: "If only I had the lack of self respect to just bury myself in some nagging bosom in the bowels of the Beatrice Inn." Oh, yeah? Also, his "mega-talented thespian pal Park" gave him a drum.

It's so confusing. Luminescent scribe Jessica Joffe split up with scruffy musician Ryan Adams, who used to date Winona Ryder and Parker Posey and Alanis Morissette. (Ryan's been making inappropriate YouTube breakup videos for the past few days now, plus he sent us a poem). But did you know that George W. Bush, Open City editor Thomas Beller, big-time developer Roland Betts, and the secret society Skull and Bones also connect back to this sundered couple? Hunh? We need a diagram! (Click to enlarge.)

Don't you sometimes wish that somewhere out there, somebody is obsessively creating and editing videos about you? Seriously, it's creepily romantic. On that note, indie-ish musician Ryan Adams is at it again! This one features more of our favorite flame-haired scribe, Jessica Joffe—plus another poem calling her a "baby deer," plus sunflowers, plus a map of the West Village surrounded by a heart. In the "about this video" section, Ryan writes, "if shit is gonna be out there in no matter how small a dose, i thought i would rust off this tune. better days now mean reflecting on better days. Eh gnite." Ryan: soon you'll feel better and this will all seem like a bad dream, I promise. Click for the video!

The new Ryan Adams YouTube video, which we can only assume is about his recent breakup with former Observer scribe, former model, and current ShopVogue writer Jessica Joffe, is called "Sad Days." Described as "found footage of dreams," it features a couple grainy shots of Jessica in all her redheaded beauty, plus shots of Ryan goofing around. Oh, the good times they must have had! Mostly, though, it features shots of the skyline racing by from the window of a car, or shots of the stars at night. Your next breakup could easily end up like this if you aren't careful! "He's obviously reaching out," writes a tipster. "Bless him." Click to watch! If you're looking for Jess, she appears about 2 minutes in, and again at 3:20, and at the very end.

Yesterday, we received a poem from someone calling themselves Romantic Danzig, titled "poem for Jessica Joffe because she blocked my email." Whatever! But then we received separate information that Joffe, the glam writer (Vogue! Glamour! Observer alum!) and former Banana Republic model had broken up with scruffy "difficult to work with" NYC musician Ryan Adams. She has been credited with helping Ryan overcome his substance abuse problems. (As you might remember, he's prone to piss-drunk Internet ramblings). The poem, totally/probably written by Ryan, follows—along with his touching explanation.

Did you know that today is the shared birthday of not only Ryan but also Bryan Adams? Celebrate by watching and worshiping Jessica Joffe's ShopVogue.tv video while wondering whether you have ever really loved a woman.

Model, faux socialite, authoress, Ryan Adams enthusiast and tart Kraut Jessica Joffe has a doppelganger. A Joffeganger! A DoppelJoffe! A fetch! GOTT IN HIMMEL. Fashion week will be tricky! [Fashionista]

Cultural critic and Ryan Adams muse Jessica Joffe continues to work her signature 'inscrutably Teutonic' thang for ShopVogue ads. Big step up from Banana Republic! You go, fraulein.

Spotted: Jessica Joffe [Fashionista]

While cruising the wires today, we noticed that Jessica Joffe—beloved of Ryan Adams, Banana Republic model, former Observer assistant and secret genius—now rates on-the-street paparazzi shots. Not seen: her Anya Hindmarch bag. Also, she is clearly thinking about German philosophy or about unicorns or maybe both. Oh honey. Photo: Bauer Griffin.

"I love to consume. Consuming is my specialty," says 26-year-old, $3,500 purse owning private equity associate Natasha Mitra. She is why this feature, intended to stare deep into the dark night of New York magazine's Look Book feature, exists. But in some circular, paradoxical, almost Buddhist way, she's also why this feature, after like, two years or something, has to go. Say goodbye! LATLB isn't going gentle into that good night, however! After the jump, Intern Alexis solicits the opinions of no less than Jessica Joffe, Faran Krentcil and Matthew Schneier as to what's in Natasha's Stratus bag.

• She may be pretty, but Jessica Joffe is too boring for even Socialite Rank. [Socialite Rank]
  

Are You feeling overburdened yet? Well, at least Your responsibilities here are pretty minimal: just post a three-minute video of yourself in which You explain why You should be a Paper Beautiful Person on YouTube, then email the link to vip@papermag.com. The winner will be this year's Jessica Joffe, and who doesn't covet that honor? But seriously, it's important to remember that when Paper says "beautiful," it doesn't mean, you know, beautiful. It means "beautiful." Confused? Us too. We think it has something to do with what's inside counting, which totally explains why Perez Hilton was featured last year. Anyway, get Your asses in gear.