The Way We Live Now: In a new way. Which is not to imply it's a worse way. It's just new, and different. Corporate America hasn't been doing so well. They need...a "new deal," if you will.

Bank of America announced today it plans to sell three of its corporate jets, as well as a Merrill Lynch helicopter that it inherited when it acquired the brokerage firm. BofA will still have six planes left even after the sale. And still no word on when the bank plans to sell off the carpets in John Thain's old office. [AP]

With the economy in a tailspin, there aren't quite as many "whales" heading out to Teterboro to catch complimentary flights to Las Vegas. Why bother losing all your money at the poker and blackjack tables when you can do the same thing in front of your Bloomberg terminal in your Midtown office? We're guessing this explains why MGM Mirage, the gambling giant that controls such properties as the Bellagio, Mirage, MGM, and Mandalay Bay hotels, put their incredibly luxe 2001 Boeing Business Jet on the market this week. The plane seats 17 and features a master suite, guest bedroom, conference room, and bathroom with shower. Alas, the company didn't specify how much they'd like for it, so you'll have to kick things off with an opening bid. They also didn't mention if they'd be willing to give the plane a scrub-down before it changes hands. Given the number of horndog billionaires and sleazy celebs who have probably deposited their DNA on the "luxurious, tan leather seats," it would be the least they could do, no? Photos of the interior after the jump.

General Motors caught a leeetle bit of flack this week for flying its executives to Washington on a private jet in order to beg for a taxpayer bailout. "Hey," said politicians, the media, and the general public, "you have less than zero money. Should you really have spent thousands on a private jet?" We would also add, "Shouldn't you have driven a car?" Later GM and its fellow broke automakers left Washington with no money, making this one of the colossal PR fuckups of 2008, and possibly of the preceding decade as well. But everything is different now, because GM is going to have somewhat fewer private jets. So please give them some multiple of billions of dollars okay? They did have five company planes. Now they're cutting down to just three. Tightening the belt!

Sarah Palin says she plans to return the six-figure wardrobe that got her into so much trouble in the run-up to the election. But she's already had to part ways with another campaign perk: the plane that jetted her around the country over the past couple of months. The Embraer E190 that the McCain campaign leased from JetBlue to fly the Wasilla hillbillies from place to place touched down in Anchorage yesterday to deposit the governor in her home state. It's now on its way back to New York where it will be stripped of its McCain/Palin logo and rejoin JetBlue's fleet of jets based at JFK. At least now there's a very good explanation if you happen to come across a Neiman Marcus shopping bag stuffed under your seat.

And you thought everyone who worked in the mortgage industry was screwed. A "Manhattan mortgage mogul" paid $400,000 last week for two "personal seat licenses," which will give him the right to buy the two best Jets season tickets at the new stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2010. Sound like a lot? In his defense, the purchase does come with free food and parking. [NYP]

For some reason, certain members of the New York Giants aren't full of warm feelings over all the press the Jets are getting for hiring Brett Favre, the 38-year-old quarterback who grudgingly signed on after he was abandoned by his beloved Green Bay Packers. But why should the Giants be miffed? It's not like they beat the obnoxious New England Patriots and deprived them of their precious perfect season in the last Super Bowl. "I'm not surprised at all. No one cares about us. Let's call it what it is," explained running back Brandon Jacobs. More griping after the jump.

The Jets announced yesterday that quarterback Chad Pennington will be out for the rest of the season with a torn rotator cuff and will be replaced with third-stringer Brooks Bollinger. We don't care enough about football to worry about what this will do for the team's record, but we do wonder: Where do they find people with names like this? And, if Brooks Bollinger is injured, is Queerty editor Bradford Shellhammer next?

Oh, great. More wacky stadium fun. From the Post: