Jon Stewart has at least four horsemen in his apocalypse: CNBC, the two other financial networks and Octo-Mom. And the Daily Show host isn't done talking about any of them.

Martha Stewart is mystified by "Notorious B.I.G.," and believes all black people know each other. Kathie Lee Gifford thinks Hoda Kotb was born in Africa. Welcome to post-racial American television!

People in the UK got upset over this ad, because of drugs. Hold on there: it's an anti-drug ad, allegedly. The lesson is, ad people love to work while high. [via Adrants. Click to enlarge]

If David Letterman's extended fracas with John McCain taught us anything, it's that would-be opinion leaders will pay for canceling on TV hosts. On tonight's Daily Show, Rick Santelli and his network paid dearly.

Hmm, we're no 'Mascara Marketing Guru' but we suspect that "Light up Your Eyes" is not the best tagline for a new ad starring Rihanna, who was recently beaten about the eye area.

See, Barack Obama speaks to white people like this: "Hello whites, let's talk about budgets!" But he talks to black people like this: "I'm Barack from Chicago, (fist pound)." Politico is racist, for real.

Holy hell are the Mumbai slums a miserable place. That's the important lesson we learned when we watched the documentary fairy tale Slumdog Millionaire. And now we'd like to fetishize the film's young stars.

Some sort of Play-Doh knockoff begs: "Let the kids build a better world." Hmmm. Is this how we define "better world," more interracial dating by the Klan? Points for edginess, regardless! [Copyranter]

Hey ladies, lock up your vaginas, because Neil "The Game" Strauss—last seen telling you how to pull much vagina—is back, with a new book! It's about how pickup artist-authors can survive hurricanes or something.

Why are musicians always the most hilariously touchy creatures? Foulmouthed, pocket-sized crooner Lily Allen is furious at unnamed New York Times editors for licensing photos of her to British tabloids — "cheap skanks," she says.

You'd think so, if you paid attention to the crusty old American Medical Association, which is hopping mad that the dopey ladysad film prominently and frequently featured brand-name cigarettes. Though, none were ever smoked.

That big Yves Saint Laurent art auction certainly has saved the art world. By proving that the dumb money is still out there. That $28 million chair was just one of the craziest buys:

A porn star draping boobs over an employee's head. Lapdances on the company dime. $50 million in back taxes. These are just some of the charges Penthouse publisher FriendFinder Networks is facing from an ex-employee.

President Obama provided hope to the lovelorn by sharing the cell phone number of his hottie speechwriter Jon Favreau. We called it, or course. Would you like to hear his voice? It's like we aready know him.

Bobby Jindal's rebuttal to the president's Congressional address tonight sounded creepily like a monologue from Kenneth the Page, 30 Rock's bewildered hillbilly. Click for video of the Louisiana governor's most Kenneth-like moments.

Here is a humdinger of a bit of gossip actual confirmed news: Liz Smith, octogenarian gossip queen of New York, has been dropped as a New York Post columnist. Sad, but expected.

Megan Fox and her fiance, David from 90210, have broken up. Sad news—especially since Fox has her now-ex's name permanently tattooed on her body. Which other celebrities have made the same mistake?

An on-stage musical extravaganza. Two epic gay rights speeches. Sean Penn's upset win for Milk. The 2009 Oscars were easily the gayest yet.

Like a waffling yard sale lady who, push come to shove, simply couldn't part with her prized collection of People "Sexiest Man Alives," Nick Denton has succumbed to a crippling case of seller's remorse.

Lost in all this controversy over NY Post cartoonist Sean Delonas' ham-handed monkey bigot hackery is this: will this national uproar hurt the sales of Delonas' kiddie book? That would be the real tragedy.