That Daniel Radcliffe has been thrilling horny Potterites on both sides of the Atlantic in a revival of the play Equus featuring full-frontal (and backal) nudity is hardly news. But until now, there have been no satisfying audience photos or video of his Golden Snitch. Perhaps it was some unspoken code of honor between wizard and $130-a-seat theatergoer, as if to say, "We'll pay for the privilege—and it is a privilege, young Harry—but we'll also keep it just between us." Well, the code has been broken, as OMG Blog has obtained video footage recently recorded by a front-row Broadway patron. We pass this along not out of licentiousness, but rather in hopes that it will goose ticket sales for the production, which has seen a 10% drop. See how selfless we are? Now, enough preamble—on with the NSFW show!

You just don't expect this sort of thing in small-town Tennessee: a columnist for the Murfreesboro Post has—we think it's safe to say—won the prestigious "Most Racist Newspaper Column About Obama's Election" contest (edging out Maureen Dowd). Columnist Stephen Lewis' "Ode To President Obama" keenly dissects our new commander in chief's ascension "To a deee-luxe pimp pad" in Washington, through the prism of The Jeffersons. Sing along, race-mixers!:

What's the deal Sarah Palin? Is Alaska too small-time for you to bother dolling up your hair all nice like you did for the media elites? The former Republican VP nominee's locks are, in case you didn't notice, way messy since she got back to Alaska; see the photos above, taken at her Anchorage gubernatorial office and at the Anchorage airport. Why is this terrible thing happening and how do we stop it from destroying us all?

Now that California's Proposition 8 has passed, many celebrities are decrying the anti-gay rights measure — and then there's addled songstress Courtney Love. Your Defamer put in some time phone-banking for the "No on 8" cause before the election, and often we discovered that people thought they'd be granting gay people equal rights by voting "yes" on the proposition, a misconception they needed to be hastily disabused of. Sadly, Love never got the memo, and she took to her Myspace blog to brag about her yes vote and celebrate the proposition's passing:

Sam Perry, the Reuters correspondent turned startup investor, has always been moderately famous in Silicon Valley circles. But he got a taste of real fame when TV host Oprah Winfrey cried on his shoulder, on camera, while watching Barack Obama's victory speech.Oprah invited Perry on her show, as this clip shows, and thanked him. But Perry should be thanking Oprah. This is why every geek switches from blogging about APIs to blathering about politics. None of Perry's venture-capital investments would ever have gotten him on Oprah — but his volunteer work for Obama's campaign did.

Grey's Anatomy finally entered the final phase of its gaywashing yesterday, disposing of Brooke Smith's Dr. Hahn in a scene as muddled and incoherent as Smith's actual firing.Hahn and her on-screen love interest, Sara Ramirez's Callie, had only one scene where they discussed their same-sex leanings, and it came near the end of the show. The exchange started in classic Grey's "This hospital issue is really about our relationship!"-speak before devolving into...well, we don't know exactly. It appears that Hahn gets mad at the somewhat reluctant Callie and says, "You can't kind of be a lesbian," which is awfully tough talk for a character who just realized she was a lesbian in the last episode. "I don't know you at all," Hahn continues, before storming off into the parking lot (where she is presumably flown back to her home planet on a rocket ship booby-trapped by worried ABC executives).

President-elect Barack Obama's first press conference happened the day the nation shed yet more jobs, it began a half-hour late, and the subject was mostly the miserable economy. Obama looked tired, and lapsed occasionally back into campaign boilerplate when discussing the pressing issues he'll have to address the second he's sworn in. As he reminded us, again and again, "there's only one President at a time." But with one question from Chicago reporter Lynn Sweet, Obama immediately won over the audience, and America. He's getting his little girls a puppy! "With respect to the dog," President-elect Obama said, "this is a major issue." Slipping into deadpan mock seriousness, Obama discussed the crux of the problem—the dog should be a hypoallergenic breed, but they wanted to rescue a shelter dog. "Obviously," Obama said, "a lot of shelter dogs are mutts, like me." Even Fox is being nice to our new President now.

Today, Newsweek posted the final chapter of their Special Election Project, the annual How He Did It book they've published for each presidential campaign since 1984 (when the answer was much easier: he just ran against Walter Mondale). The reporters assigned to the special project are embargoed from those publishing in the regular magazine, so they get jucier anecdotes, more hilarious quotes, and revealing stories, all of which are then packaged and in such a way as to make the winning campaign look like a well-oiled machine and the losing campaign look like a parade of idiots. Did you read the whole thing? We did! We'll share with you the funniest bits, the important takeaway, and the already solidifying conventional wisdom. In short, this is the story of the 2008 campaign: the Hillary Clinton campaign was a stressful psychodrama, the Obama campaign was an intellectual exercise, and the McCain campaign was a ragtag bunch of misfits who stumbled into an insane family nightmare from Twin Peaks, Alaska. Let's begin with Hillary and co. Hillary The Clinton campaign was beset by the vicious infighting among assholes, basically. The biggest and dumbest asshole was chief pollster/strategist Mark Penn!

Yes, we know, Sherri Shepherd used to think the earth was flat, and thus, we never should have put too much stock in her opinions. Still, it was hard, America! She really appeared to be trying, often showing up with research, shouting down false statements made by Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and then finally earning our affection with a tremendously affecting Obamalogue this past Wednesday. Sadly, the good times could not last, as Shepherd wandered back into the wilds of ignorance for today's View discussion of Proposition 8.Without Joy Behar around to rebut her, Shepherd ran rampant, tossing out right-wing talking points about the proposition (which took away the marriage rights awarded to gay Californians) like they were so many Sherri coins. First, she insists that without Prop 8, her pastor could have been sent to jail for preaching against homosexuality. Either she's referring to Swedish pastor Ake Green who was convicted, then acquitted of "hate speech" (under, y'know, Swedish laws) and became a religious cause celebre, or she's bringing up the falsehood that churches would be sued for not performing same-sex marriage. Just like they get sued so much when Jews want to marry in the Mormon temple! Oh wait, that doesn't happen. Barbara Walters attempts a weak rebuttal, but the audience is on Sherri's side. Eventually, even Whoopi concedes that if civil unions were strengthened until they reached a point that seems awfully separate but equal to our ears, maybe the gays would be happy and stop fighting so much. Or not! Clip above.

Now that our nation has gone and elected a popular black man with no clear signs of dementia as president, it's obvious that our Crisis Of Comedy is a most vital public issue. Nerdy white comedians have no idea how to make fun of Obama! Never fear. We reached out to Jordan Carlos—professional comedian, Stephen Colbert's black friend, and a guy we once tried to assert (unsuccessfully) would be a better Saturday Night Live Obama impersonator than Fred Armisen—for his take on the future of Obama comedy. Exclusive Jordan Carlos Analytical Comedic Essay Below! Barack: This Dude Even Changed Comedy Tuesday By Jordan Carlos The political balance of power may not have been the only thing that shifted Tuesday. The world of comedy got a bit of a shake up too. Though it's difficult to predict the misty future with any certainty, Obama's win does beg a couple of obvious questions; namely, "Do Black comedians have much to complain about anymore?" Now before you tear my nuts off for asking this, let me say I'm just raising this extreme question for the sake of argument. I don't actually think Black people don't have anything to complain about anymore, though cabs were remarkably easier to come by yesterday in the city. But things have changed—and who are many comedians of color, if not people who point to the old saw of differences between white and Black and all the hi-larious inequalities surrounding those differences? Remove that brand of humor from the mix, and what's left for Black comedians to fall back on? Plenty, of course. The world is full of comedic opportunity. But it will be intriguing to see how audiences will respond when a Black comic moans about the everyday racial politics he or she faces when a Black person holds the highest office in the land. For anyone who can do an impression of Obama, congrats! Your stock just went through the friggin roof! Bush impersonators, report to your local soup kitchen or shanty town. Obama impersonators are guaranteed at least 4 years of career opportunity. For me, a fairer-skinned black dude with newly close-cropped hair and larger-than-average ears, things are looking up. I've already been able to do my impression for TV (once on Headline News and once on a Japanese morning TV show – Yeah, I know. What the F?) and I look forward to at least four more years of it. Though I was asked by the folks at Gawker to give my take on Fred Armisen's impression of Obama, I'm gonna have to pass. Other art forms encourage a lover's quarrel among artists – boisterous roundtables and bustling salons, etc. — comedy, not so much. Take it from me, comics are a sensitive bunch – me more than most (we're not talking Kanye West levels here, but you get where I'm going with this). We want to be liked (obveeez!!!). Did I dance around that enough? You can watch my Obama impression here, OK? [Ed.: And also here] I think the existential question of what comedians can complain about now is shared by not only Black comedians, but also the good folks at The Daily Show and Real Time with Bill Maher. They got what they wanted, right? So now what? Feast on Obama like they did Bush? That would be kinda weird. Recently on his show Bill Maher declared a new rule: that President-elect "Obama must give comedians something to work with." When questioned about this statement by America's favorite old man, Larry King, Maher said, "But look, [Obama]'s going to be the president and we're going to have to get over our nervousness about making fun of a Black person. He's not a black person. He's the president." OK, Maher lost me at the whole, "he's not a black person" bit, but you get what he's trying to say. Eventually ALL comedians are going to have to take off the kid gloves and skewer the newly anointed commander in chief. How they do it will be something that I, for one, am interested to see. To me there's plenty you can make fun of when it comes to Obama: — Because of him the high concept movie about a jazzy black dude being president is dead and over. —People maybe just maybe expect too much from him. —He's got huge, honking ears. —You can make fun of the fact that it's hard to make fun of him. —You kind of have to do a lot of self-deceiving to back the guy (doesn't believe in gay marriage, tough on immigration, tosses friends when they become political liabilities – Rev. Wright, Ayers). —He may kinda owe Oprah a place in his cabinet. —Does Jesse Jackson still want to cut his nuts off like he said? And why the hell was he front-row Chicago victory rally after saying something like that? Obama must have known he said that. Where's my front row seat? I didn't call for castration. You could make sketches out of all that stuff and more if you've got the salt. You should always be able to laugh at your leaders – even if they're awesome people who happen to be Black. Click to view

In some prior election year, the behind-the-scenes footage of a president-elect's first moments might have been captured by a photographer for, say, Life, or at least distributed through a glossy magazine like that. It must have been some small comfort to Barack Obama to be able to rely instead on a longtime photographer of his own, David Katz, at such an intimate moment, and at such a tender one, a day after the death of his grandmother. As for distribution? Photography's bridge to the 21st century, Flickr. The campaign's remarkable set of 82 behind-the-scenes pictures includes the one above, of Obama watching McCain concede, and our other favorites, after the jump.

President-elect Obama asked Illinois Congressman and hard-charging political attack dog Rahm Emanuel to be his Chief of Staff. Emanuel's brother is Ari Emanuel, the Hollywood agent who famously broke away from ICM to start his own agency. On the HBO series Entourage, Jeremy Piven plays an incredibly thinly veiled fictional version of Ari Emanuel, named Ari Gold. Ari Gold, in the new season of Entourage, was weighing an offer to leave his agency to head a studio. Meanwhile, Rahm Emanuel still hasn't decided if he wants to stay on as a powerful Congressional Democrat or move to a position of great power but less autonomy in the Obama White House. Above, watch fictional Ari struggle with the choice, and below, real-life Rahm hems and haws on television. Real life imitates fiction imitating the brother of real life.

Pasty British expat writer Toby Young has news for you, America: your new president isn't "black," so stop acting all excited. "[Am] I the only person in the world who's noticed that Barak [sic] Obama isn't black?" he wonders. "Slaves were black. Barak [sic] Oboma [sic] isn't descended from slaves. He was born in Hawaii and raised by two white people." Can you school us any more on the intricacies of the blacks, Mr. Nilla?

Failure may be an orphan, but McCain campaign veterans seem to be doing their best to pin blame for defeat on their MAVERICK VP choice Sarah Palin. Fox News Channel political correspondent Carl Cameron today disclosed the first of what he predicts will be an "avalanche" of unflattering stories about the Republican vice presidential nominee: Off-the-record tips from McCain aides that Palin did not know Africa was a continent or the constituent countries in the NAFTA treaty. He later told Bill O'Reilly Palin didn't know the constituent nations of North America, either. More damning, from a campaign perspective?

Now that ABC has unceremoniously axed Brooke Smith's lesbian character from Grey's Anatomy and performed a wholesale gaywashing to turn an upcoming bisexual guest arc into a totally heterosexual, female bonding adventure, other Grey's stars are speaking out — or, in the case of Patrick Dempsey, using loaded silences to make his thoughts on the matter known.Dempsey appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today (incidentally, a program that Sara Ramirez's Callie will no longer be watching) and when DeGeneres brought up the firing, McDreamy pulled out a canned response ABC had sent to him and read from it sarcastically. Afterward, DeGeneres asked if the firing was OK. "It is for them," said Dempsey, providing enough passive-aggressive venom to make Isaiah Washington (busy waiting tables at the NBC commissary while he waits for that follow-up call from Ben Silverman) point to the screen and insist, "See? That's what I was talking about!"

After a long battle with cancer, science fiction's biggest crossover novelist Michael Crichton died today. Though the lanky Harvard graduate was most well known for his 1990 novel Jurassic Park, he leaves behind a sometimes controversial legacy of investigation into the most prominent scientific issues of our time. We review the highlights of his storied career:The Chicago-born author made his stunning debut under his own name with The Andromeda Strain, which would inspire the first film taken from his oeuvre. Books like Disclosure and Rising Sun veered from his science fiction interests into cultural criticism and formed the template for his NBC series, ER. In his 2004 novel State of Fear he aroused indignation from the scientific community. Crichton's right-wing politics didn't usually endear him to other writers, resulting in memorable clashes with Susan Faludi, Al Gore and Michael Crowley, who he memorably portrayed as a child molestor in his novel Next. Crichton's public notoriety was balanced by his closeness with his family during his illness. "He did this with a wry sense of humor that those who were privileged to know him personally will never forget," his daughter said today. At his best, Crichton was able to anticipate emerging cultural and technological trends, and surround them with a compelling narrative that never failed to address issues of the moment in a non-contrived fashion like no other. He'll be missed.

John Edwards could have settled the question of whether or not he fathered the child of campaign "filmmaker" Rielle Hunter during his affair with her last year, but instead he left it up to the discretion of the National Enquirer. Edwards' payoffs through recently deceased trial lawyer Fred Baron had previously convinced Hunter to refuse a paternity test, but her rumored new tell-all book and an end to getting paid may change that reticence. Racing her to press is the Enquirer, who are apparently keen on settling the matter in the most disgusting way possible: DNA siphoned from a months-old dirty diaper.In the wake of the Edwards' potential separation and Hunter's pending tell-all, the tabloid says it collected a dirty diaper during its original stake-out of Edwards' visit to Hunter at the Beverly Hilton. The Daily News is reporting that the Enquirer has been holding onto the baby's stinky diaper hoping to get some of Edwards' DNA for a match. To compare the sample they have "all they need is a cup he drank from," says the News source. Of course, they'll need to get that cup before Rielle Hunter scoops the paper herself. If you really want the goods, why not match poop with poop? If Edwards is staying in a hotel, sabotage the hotel's sewage system and work from there. If you're in the shit, might as well go as deep as you can.

¡Que lastima, Sarah Palin! Is this the end for the heroic Alaskan everywoman, who came out of nowhere to bravely humiliate herself on the national stage in one brief flash of incomprehensible fuck-upitude? No, liberals, no. And why don't you all stop lying: you crave more Sarah Palin. She is the political equivalent of hate sex. But it's obvious now that Palin's future isn't in politics; a (winning) presidential run in 2012 is a pipe dream. Her future is in the media! She can barely speak English, but fellas sure do like to hear her anyhow. With that in mind, we present—free of charge, in the spirit of unity—the simple five-step plan for Sarah Palin's upcoming national stardom: 1. Leave Alaska. You can't even get a media job living in Philadelphia, and that's just down the road from NYC. You have to move to New York, Sarah. You'd probably like the Murray Hill area. 2. Fashion Endorsements For Wal-Mart. Remember how you gave that speech and then all these people ran out and bought the glasses you were wearing? And then you spent $150,000 on clothes and everybody paid attention? It all adds up to two words, and those words are "Fashion icon." Is moose the next hot fabric for the fall season? Why don't you tell us, by appearing in middlebrow fashion advertisements for America's top discount retailer? 3. Have An Affair. That guy you're with, the snow racer? Yea, I'm sure he's nice and everything but he's not really sizzling tabloid material. Why not go and fuck A-Rod, or possibly be spotted going down on a male hooker in the bathroom at the Beatrice Inn? These are proven techniques that can work for you. 4. Ghostwritten Column For Ladies Home Journal. What are some Pretty Pillow Projects and Bad Hair Day tips that you learned on the campaign trail? Have your ghostwriter make some up, to be published. Republican housewives eat that shit up. 5. Join the cast of The View. This is where it all ends for you, Sarah. You were never going to be President. You never had a shot to be Vice President. You never even had the potential to be a serious political figure of any magnitude outside the strange and backwards frozen state of Alaska. But with a little perseverance you could end up on a couch, on daytime television, flanked by Barbara Walters and Joy Behar, arguing about Michelle Obama's wardrobe. Embrace your destiny, Sarah Palin. Elizabeth Hasselbeck can't hang on there forever.

You know you've made it when everybody a.) thinks they can do a better job than you, and b.) thinks they can make money off competing for your business! So congratulations, Jezebel. Not only is former Gawker ed Elizabeth Spiers describing her forthcoming ladysite as a Jezebel-ish incarnation, but Alley Insider reports that Slate is hiring for a Jezebel competitor. Their predicted assessment of the site's direction is fairly apt: "600-word what-everyone-thinks-is-wrong articles and their close cousin, what-everyone-thinks-is-right-but-not-for-the-reasons-everyone-thinks." Only for ladies. But don't worry, future girlblogs: there are plenty of hysterical commenters to go around.

It was a mercifully brief presidential election night, if you consider the period effectively over once a clear winner has emerged. By 10 pm. Eastern, newspaper editors could put crisp, definitive headlines atop their front pages. Some European newspapers managed the same, either by way of special editions or the quaint tradition of afternoon publishing. Papers on several other continents also heralded the election results with some, such as Barcelona's el Periódico below and Diario do Comercio in Brazil, running high-concept covers emphasizing the election's deeper meaning for American culture. One briefly wonders what sorts of words and images they would have reached for amid a McCain victory. But it is much more satisfying, really, to feel the world gaze on America with approving eyes once again. A blow-up of the newspaper headlines is after the jump.