Naturally we're delighted to see Jennifer Aniston's name in the news without any mention of her lesser half John Mayer, but unfortunately the actress' latest stunt does not include bikinis, Brad, or boy toy upgrades. In case you'd forgotten, the flower-scented B.O. phenom that is SATC: The Movie is being closely followed by another chick flick packed with A-Listers called He's Just Not That Into You. Aniston rounds out the female cast alongside Drew Barrymore, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Connelly and Scarlett Johansson. But according to Life & Style, Aniston took the very low road at a recent cover shoot for Marie Claire, insisting one of the ladies above be banned from the photo, making room for Aniston's widely seen curves to take front and center. Which co-star was allegedly instructed to leave the set, and whether or not Aniston's orders mean anything these days, after the jump.

As excited as we are for borderline troublemaker Emma Watson and her rumored new deal to become the "face of Chanel" at 18, the $6 million contract comes with a curse or two. The French cosmetics giant has been airbrushing celebrity visages in ad campaigns for years, but its most recent short-term star partnerships haven't always ended amicably, nor have they resulted in the kind of chaste and glossy reputation sources predict for Watson. Though a friend insists that "She's not going to end up like these other Hollywood train wrecks, she just isn't...No one is going to be saying, ‘I never wanted to see Hermione in that light,'" we took a look back at her quilted bag-carrying predecessors to shine a light on the kind of controversy this same wallet-fattening gig has earned its celebrity reps in the past.

We've made fun of self-styled pickup artist and creepy sexual compulsive Paul Janka countless times: he's slept with 146 (or so) women. He wrote an e-book layguide on how to get girls. He's shopping an Entourage-type TV show to Showtime. However, he's graduated from amusing obnoxiousness to distinctly unfunny sexual assault, according to Emily, a woman who went on a date with him. Paul doesn't even dispute her claim that he grabbed her, pinned her down, tried to fingerfuck her, and shoved his tongue in her mouth. (She only got away after fighting and hitting him with an umbrella.) Her account, and Janka's reply (she was on a date "under false pretenses," he says), after the jump.

Entertainment Weekly's Q&A with Angelina Jolie is unremarkable-except for the remarkably unflattering photograph the magazine uses for its cover. Now it could be that EW wanted an image that matched in spirit the "candid interview" touted in the coverline. But I thought the Hollywood publicists demanded photo approval when negotiating interviews-even when they're pushing a movie such as Jolie's forthcoming Wanted (watch a chase from the movie, here). On the EW cover, the screen beauty's chin juts forward; lighting from above has left a shadow under her nose; the pores haven't been smoothed out in retouching; and there's a mole on her forehead. Well, there was one the issue itself (scan at left) under the letter "r"-in the same photo from the magazine's website (right), however, the spot isn't visible. Did EW bring out the photoshop only after the issue had gone to the printers? (After the jump, the cover and Angelina Jolie's blemishes in higher definition.)

Undoubtedly, if there's one thing that's weighing heavily on the minds of the fair citizens of our great nation, it's whether or not George Clooney's ex paid a trip to the rack-enhancer. Perhaps even more important than that is the question of whether or not said surgery was the straw that broke the Clooney's back. And while we never got a chance to ask her to answer these riveting questions in person, naturally, one of TMZ's most upstanding cameramen did. As you have come to learn, moments of levity and brevity like this populate each week's installment of Dirt Sandwich. This week, Defamer's resident sandwich artist Molly McAleer held all the salmonella-tainted tomatoes from this sammy and instead crafted a mouthwatering meal made up of only the finest, freshest and locally grown entertainment tidbits. Did Katherine Heigl diss the Grey's Anatomy writers? Are Audrina and LC still fighting? Will Cindy Margolis ever marry again? Remember kids, knowing is half the battle. Enjoy!

Hillary Clinton wasn't the only woman to suffer an unexpected setback in the Democratic primary. Her biographer, magazine publishing doyenne Tina Brown, is left without the inauguration that would have been such a compelling finale-and recompense for the discomforts of the campaign trail. But the former Vanity Fair editor claimed to the biddies on The View this morning that Hillary's defeat gave her story a more interesting "arc"-and there may be some truth to that. The fallen Queen of Buzz identifies with the former First Lady even more than one would imagine; and a bitter-sweet ending has a certain resonance, as you'll see.

Coming in at number two right after Lesbian Chic on the list of 2008's hottest celebrity trends is the slim fast phenomenon sweeping the pounds off Catherine Zeta-Jones' ass, Britney Spears' arms, and pretty much every inch of co-starvation partners Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham. But of course, when Queen of Female Mind Control Oprah Winfrey puts in her two cents on the dieting front, every housewife and Oprah wannabe begins taking dutiful notes on how exactly she'll take a few pounds off this time around. And according to a piece in the NY Daily News, Detox is the word. From Gwyneth and Beyonce to Ralph Fiennes and Vince Vaughn, these four varieties of temporary "cleansing" yourself are the current diet du jour. And of course, the question is: does it work? And more importantly, is giving up our nightly vino and succumbing to regular colonics worth looking like a lollipop head? Which celebrities are using which method, and visual evidence of their results, if any, after the jump.

Those photos of actress and pop singer Lindsay Lohan nuzzling her "close friend," DJ Samantha Ronson, have attracted surprisingly little attention. A lot of female celebrities pretend to have girl crushes—it's edgy—and at first we automatically dismissed the images as publicity-seeking. Even the confirmation of a relationship by Lohan's semi-estranged father can be dismissed as his own quest for attention. But the relationship between the freshly rehabbed star and her lesbian friend is quite extraordinary, and here's why:

You gotta hand it to Katherine Heigl. In the last two years, thanks to plum roles in Knocked Up and on Grey's Anatomy, she's gone from the forgotten child star from My Father, The Hero (forgotten by everyone except pervs, that is) to an Emmy winning actress who's bumping her way onto the A-List. But along the way, thanks to a string of questionable PR snafus like publicly lambasting Judd Apatow and emasculating her husband Joshua at every conceivable turn, she's racked up more than her fair share of detractors. But being the determined ball buster that she is, she's not going to let a little thing like criticism get in her way of becoming her generation's Julia Roberts. Today, Variety reports that she is set to star in and co-produce Escape, based on the true story of Carolyn Jessop, whose memoir of escaping her polygamist husband became a best-seller. While it remains to be seen if this role will earn her a nod at the 2010 Oscars (if it walks like Oscar bait and talks like Oscar bait, it probably is), we can confirm that she won't be accepting any awards at this year's Emmys. As Tom O'Neil of the LAT's Gold Derby blog reports:

Kittens: they just won't go away. You must look at them! They and their assorted cute friends—puppies, monkeys, duckies, hippopotami—have taken over the internet, and have already become a leading addiction among men and women alike. Cute cravings must be fed, productivity be damned. A baby bear licking a swan! A parakeet wearing a tutu! A kitten roller skating on the back of a pink stingray! The Observer predicts a "cuteness surge." This will be our downfall. Our supposedly sophisticated elites have allowed their cutie wootie nom nom nuzzle muzzle urges to become their drug, their porn, their shame:

It has become conventional wisdom that print is struggling to renew its readership and that cost-effective reality programming is the future of television. But just how much has the balance of media power shifted? Here's one anecdote which says it all. Bravo's annual contest for aspiring fashion designers-Project Runway-has become so powerful that magazine titles such as Marie Claire and Bazaar are expected actually to pay for the privilege of attaching their names.

The universe is piling on Warner Bros. today, with the studio bracing itself for its second straight summer misfire while the output from its recently euthanized offshoots New Line and Picturehouse achieved phenomenal successes in consecutive weeks. But NL's opening windfall for Sex and the City and Picturehouse's $27K-per-screen average last weekend for Mongol — the biggest art-house launch of the year to date — might not have anything on the 'House's toy-based, girly-girl follow-up, reports The NY Times:

It's been 25 years since Terms Of Endearment arrived in the multiplexes of America, turning virtually everyone who saw it into an emotional basketcase. And while the film swept most of the major awards at the 1984 Academy Awards, there was one integral member of the cast who left the L.A. County Music Center that night less than thrilled. That person was Debra Winger, who was none too pleased that her co-star and arch rival Shirley MacLaine took home the coveted Best Actress Award. Not only were the two on-set rivals (one potentially tall tale had Winger farting in MacLaine's face), but MacLaine famously shouted "I deserve this!" when her name was called over Winger's that night.

With the possible exception of a Double Double with Animal Style fries, nothing goes down better after a long work week like a heaping Dirt Sandwich. Even better? You don't have to wait in line! Much like the ole In-N-Out, Molly McAleer uses nothing but the freshest ingredients when preparing each week's Dirt Sammy. Whether it's watching a makeup-less Tatum O'Neal get carted away by the cops or breathlessly awaiting to find out the outcome of what happened when Universal Studios explodes into flames with Steven Spielberg in the middle of the inferno (!), we guarantee that this week's Dirt Sandwich will satiate your weekly cravings for mental junk food. As always, enjoy!

Slate's family correspondent Emily Bazelon was relieved recently to learn that her 8-year-old son has no hits on Google. Not for lack of trying! She writes about her young son, Eli, occasionally, but obviously she doesn't want her child to be an Internet Persona, Fair Game for bloggers and commenters. But then, she's writing about him in Slate. And her husband's name, which is presumably her son's last name, is readily available on Wikipedia. She's dangerously close to crossing into the territory of the chronic familial oversharers whose crimes against their children she ponders in her essay. Like remember Neal Pollack? "His young son Elijah's bathroom habits are fair game for Pollack's blog, but his son's discovery of his sexuality, Pollack says, is not." Jesus, Neal, you just did it again. Dear internet: blogging about your children is child abuse.

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger was a devoted supporter of Hillary Clinton, pushing the newspaper into an endorsement of the Democratic candidate from which its editorials only later rowed back. That will make for some interesting conversations with Caroline Kennedy, the Times scion's close friend. Kennedy-the Sweet Caroline of Neil Diamond's song and daughter of JFK-backed Clinton's victorious rival together with most of the Irish-American political royalty. And she's just been named to the three-person team to vet Democratic nominee Barack Obama's possible running mates.

Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee for President! It's so exciting and historic! Finally, newspapers across the nation get to run all those "what does it mean that we have a black candidate" pieces they've been sitting on for months. In the interest of having something new to say about this campaign of a thousand cuts, we've compiled a gallery of newspaper front pages from around the nation (but mostly New York and DC). Check them out, along with our commentary and exclusive analysis, below.

Today, the Associated Press announced that Barack Obama is officially the Democratic nominee for President. Which means that the Hillary Clinton campaign is finished. It's been a long, long time. Two years, actually! We first tracked the history of the Clinton campaign back in April, when it was just probably doomed. Now it's time to revisit that history, this time with a big fancy chart. The data points are Barack Obama's closing prices on political futures betting site InTrade. The higher the closing price, the more likely investors think his nomination is (with 100 being dead-on certainty). Click to enlarge the chart, and to re-read our April history explaining the significance of the dates mentioned. Now updated with relevant "May" and "Early June" information!

The New York Post is tough on crime. Especially celebrity crime. They take gleeful pleasure (as we all do!) in cataloging the excesses and trashy doings of the drug-addicted and famous. Yesterday's breathless report on the arrest of poor former child star Tatum O'Neal went into embarrassing detail of her arrest for purchasing crack cocaine ("I'm researching a part," a "source" told the Post). But today's front page? And accompanying exclusive report from brittle columnist Andrea Peyser? A sympathetic tale of a troubled woman just doing her best to stay clean. The lead: "TATUM is saved!" Who the hell is O'Neal's publicist, Obi-Wan Kenobi? (Or, uh, Howard Rubenstein?) Drug-addicted celebrities! You may wonder how to garner such friendly treatment in the Post after your next drug deal gone bad! We have some suggestions:

While the broadcast portion of yesterday's MTV Movie Awards was short on thrills, the same cannot be said for the red yellow carpet. Armed only with a laptop, an iPhone and a video camera, Molly McAleer and your Uncle Grambo did our darndest to bring you a sense of the hustle and bustle as a gaggle of celebs — which ran the gamut from A to Z-List — strolled and sprinted by us on their way into the Gibson Ampitheater at the still smoldering Universal Studios. The following video, culled together by our magical pixie of a videographer, conveniently boils down the two hours we spent baking in the hot California sun into two short minutes. From Rainn Wilson's special message to you, the loyal Defamer audience, to a horrifying closeup of the veins that punctuate Verne Troyer's bald dome, kick back and relax with our SPF 100 recap of last evening's pre-show festivities. [MTV Movie Awards]