It's amazing to watch a show wildly redeem and practically reinvent itself in one night. The episode, written brilliantly by Paul Sciarrotta (seems to be his first episode!), was funny and suspenseful and, um, downright shocking at the end. (Well, as shocking as a network television show about dopey teenagers can get). The jokes! The Waverly Inn! Page Six! Tinsley Mortimer! Sciarrotta, a Georgetown alum, seems to know his pop-ish topical New York stuff, something the show was sorely missing. And what else? Gays! Bitchiness! And, um, murder?

New York asked top magazine editors what they thought of the recent Topless Miley Cyrus Scandal. Surprise! Out-of-touch elitist magazine editors did not see the problem with Vanity Fair sexualizing that 15-year-old tween star. "Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko: 'I think it's a tempest in a teapot. I don't think it goes anywhere. It's manufactured hoo-ha.'" And he should know! Next month's Men's Health has a great feature on how to manufacture your own hoo-ha at home in 30 days. [NYM]

Aww, our adorable li'l sister site Jezebel is almost a year old and is being celebrated with its very own Times feature. Yay! "Like a digital-age upgrade of Sassy, the 1990s-era indie-feminist teenage magazine, Jezebel appeals to a young, urban demographic, with a roster of editors whose strong voices inspire loyal followings. Ms. [Tracie 'Slut Machine'] Egan shares details of her intimate life that are not safe for work. Maureen Tkacik, the site's features editor, who is known as Moe, gravitates toward politics and speaks out against what she calls the 'idiocracy.' Dodai Stewart, the senior editor, pokes fun at magazines and catalogs; in a feature called LOLVogue, she writes satirical captions for fashion spreads." And then come the commenters...

If you are on the hunt for comfort food for your brain, look no further than this week's flavor-packed installment of Dirt Sandwich. Each week, our superstar videotrix Molly McAleer puts her very sanity on the line for you, the loyal Defamer reader, as she pours through over a dozen hours of infotainment shows looking for moments of high camp from TV journalism's lowlifes. This week's episode features only the hottest of hott topics, including Miley Cyrus' initial reaction to Annie Liebovitz's now controversial Vanity Fair spread ("Annie took, like, a beautiful shot"), Donny Osmond's nationwide manhunt for a gentleman caller willing to date his sister, Harvey Levin drooling over some new Halle Berry pics and, of course, the appearance of a cow on the set of Extra. And no, we're not talking about Dayna Devon. Enjoy!

In the future, Andy Warhol once said, "All department stores will become museums, and all museums will become department stores." This has already happened: see the Prada store on Broadway, the former location of the Guggenheim Museum's SoHo branch. It's also occurred at Christian Louboutin, the French purveyor of $900 classic fuck-me pumps, the NYT's Thursday Styles section reveals. Here, the shoes are displayed fetishistically in cases, with red carpet and mirrors... yet, they are not available.

Did you know that the hit HBO television series Sex and the City, about a self-centered clotheshorse and the women who indulge her, has been made into a movie, to be released nationwide on May 30th? Well, yeah. It's happening. And in an effort to promote the film, little shoeboxes containing a bottle of Skyy vodka are being sent around to various bloggers, reporters, shut-ins, and ladydrunks. Jeff Houck, who writes a blog called The Stew, received the little press kit/care package recently, and took a moment to analyze its contents. It explains the "spirit" of the movie: drinking! "Get in the spirit with cocktails themed after the characters who defined cocktail culture for an entire generation," a card in the box says. Ohhh. For an entire generation! And, whee: themed cocktails! (They're going to be served at fun, sexy Houlihan's restaurants across the land.) I can't wait to get drunk and shuffle around with my shoebox like a real career lady. Where's my press kit, movie people? After the jump, find each lady's distinctive cocktail!

Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we'd certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mom who's currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who've previously nabbed the annual issue's cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honor. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven't slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue's cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honor after the jump:

Hip-hop journalist Harry Allen has unearthed a 10-minute video of disgraced memoirist Margaret Seltzer — remember her? two months ago? — back when she was still pretending to be an ex-gangbanger and drug-runner. The video was likely made to promote Seltzer's fake autobiography, Love And Consequences, and "may be the only existing footage of Seltzer in her full-on 'hood' persona," Allen writes. Seltzer dishes some fun-to-watch lies in the video, like when she talks about the violent death of a fabricated nephew (Allen notes Seltzer calls the supposed dead boy "it" and "thing"), and sometimes Seltzer abruptly halts or chokes up, as though her guilt or fear of exposure about lying has tripped her up. Some of the better moments, including Seltzer talking about "homies" on death row toasting her graduation, are excerpted in a two-minute summary video after the jump.

This week's Modern Love, the column in the NYT's Sunday Style section, bucked a trend. It's supposed to be about modern love, duh, but it's usually about adopting babies and cancer. This week, it actually was about modern (text-messaging) luv, with an essay by a young woman about her awkward flirtation with a frustratingly immature but totally cute indie-rocker boy in Brooklyn. Title of essay: "Was I On a Date or Baby Sitting?" HEY OH! "I asked my musician friends what they knew about him. Joanna, a singer, summed him up: 'He's an indie rock dreamboat. His voice is transcendent and he writes lovely lyrics. He has a nice face, he has a kid and he tours a lot. He's a star in his world.'" Oh, perfect: the conveniently unavailable guy who "goes on tour" a lot. Of course, we'd all love to know who the dude is and what band he is in. Thanks to a tipster, now we know!

There's a technique called "grooming" that pedophiles use on their victims (yes, we just learned about it today, thank you). One definition says "Grooming behavior is intended to make the victim or potential victim or victim's guardians feel comfortable with the molester and even interested in interacting with him." And here's a characteristic of a regressed child molester: "They place pseudo-adult status on their victims and then view them as they would their peers." Now take a look at the following behind-the-scenes pictures from Vanity Fair's controversial new Miley Cyrus photo shoot by 58-year-old lesbian photographer Annie Leibovitz and ask yourself if any of that rings a bell. We're not accusing these stylists of being pedophiles, we're just saying... ugh:

How quickly the week rolls by when we know a brand new Dirt Sandwich—Defamer videographer and part-time, uncredited massage therapist Molly McAleer's attempt at making some condensed sense of the week in tabloid television—is waiting for us at the end of it. Today's 6-inch treat comes served on freshly baked jalapeno cheesy bread, overstuffed with slutty Mileys, drunk Lindsays, bear-attack 911 calls, and Brad Pitt in head-to-toe leather undies (kinky!). Most amazing of all, however, is one anonymous TMZ staffer's cracking of the Cheryl Burke Bangs Code, a complex theorem linking the angle of the Dancing with the Stars regular's hair to her blood alcohol level. Watch and learn!

Just in time for her reality show about having kids, Jennifer Lopez (known as JLo to people from 2003) wants to have more kids. The fading entertainer and her Peruvian shrunken head boyfriend husband Marc Anthony recently mashed genitals and produced twins, and her efforts to raise them while also coping with her big butt will be documented in an upcoming (self-financed!) TLC reality show. But two is not enough, what in this bizarro world where the simple act of procreating is worthy of adulating praise and millions of dollars. We've gotten to the point where I, if I wanted to adopt a child (which I don't), would have to show up at the agency, wearing a top hat and monocle, and introduce myself as H.S. Moneybags in order to have a chance at forking over thousands of dollars to get my grubby gay hands on a baby. Whereas Ms. Lopez and her celebrity friends have turned baby making and having and inevitably fucking up beyond all recognition into a little cottage industry of magazines and television shows and lord knows what else (as complained about on the Huffingon Post). Can it be Children of Men soon, please?

The three New York City police detectives charged with manslaughter in the 2006 shooting death of Sean Bell, 23, on his wedding day as he was leaving his bachelor party with two friends were acquitted of all charges this morning. The officers fired fifty shots at Bell and his friends, who were all unarmed, outside of a Queens strip club.

Google's business goal is to organize the world's information. Ambitious. Google's goal for hiring women engineers? "We're very focused on having about 25 percent of our technical workforce be women," Google VP Marissa Mayer tells a Bay Area public-radio interviewer in this clip. Google's cupcake princess added that Sergey Brin — he's the cofounder she didn't date — and Larry Page — the one she did — came up with that target shortly after they founded the company.

After a hard day covering Fashion Week, in September 2006, Gutfeld was at Port 41 with a group of other magazine editors and writers. It was late, Gutfeld had been drinking, and he's not known for his discretion even when sober. According to one of the many present that evening, he began regaling the crowd with an account of a small dinner party hosted by Steve Perrine, former creative director of Men's Health, now editor-in-chief of Best Life, a magazine for middle-aged men who lead lives of silent desperation.

We've always tended to label the polished, well-spoken Gwyneth Paltrow as one of those overly perfect women you want to hate but, irritatingly, can't muster up any good reasons to. But thanks to her recent habit of promoting Iron Man across the globe while wearing some of the most fierce, outlandish, downright kinky pairs of shoes, we officially have no desire to hate the girl anymore. From Rome to London to New York, Paltrow's wildly varied kickers range from towering 7-inch beauties to strappy lace-up ankle booties. And we (well, I) want 'em all. A closer look at Gwyneth's racy choices after the jump.

Ever since Mean Girls became a runaway success back in 2004, Tina Fey has been riding a wave of near universal acclaim. Her ability to ride that tasty wave of popularity for the last four years without succumbing to any nasty wipeouts has arguably turned her into the Laird Hamilton of the Writers-Turned-Performers circuit. But when Baby Mama hits theaters this weekend, all of that cred that she has built up will be put to the test. Not only has Variety's Todd McCarthy gone on record calling it "exceedingly predictable", but Videogum has been trumpeting the notion that "Tina Fey-Tigue" is about to set in for the last week and some change. Recognizing that this film doesn't exactly fit the mold of traditional studio comedies (namely, in that it stars two female protagonists), Universal has been throwing a bunch of dollars at Baby Mama television advertising over the last few weeks, alternately positioning the film as a Tina Fey Vehicle, a film In Which Amy Poehler Steals The Show and, gasp, as something that even sports-loving, beer guzzling men will dig (specifically, by scoring the spots with The Cars' dude-friendly power pop anthem "Just What I Needed").

While all three of these spots appear after the jump, we thought it would be fun to enlist Defamer's videographer par excellence Molly McAleer to cut a commercial for the film that would play to all the thrill-seeking teens who have made Prom Night one of this spring's surprise B.O. hits (above). Feel free to use our cut, Universal marketing team — all we ask for is a link in return. Enjoy!

Click to viewRichard Quest, the Brit-accented CNN correspondent arrested in Central Park last week with meth in his pocket, a dildo stuffed in his boot, and rope tied around his genitals, apparently has a good deal of training in rope tricks. Click to watch this clip, in which he shares his terror while performing "the Professor's Nightmare Rope Trick"—he just can't get the rope where he wants it to go! "We count to three, and we blow hard. We blow hard!" Impeccable foreshadowing in almost every line.

Our favorite cocaine-dappled redhead, actress Lindsay Lohan, has a Facebook profile! But it's undercover... She goes by the name "Lindsay Ronson," using the last name of her friend (girlfriend perhaps??), DJ Samantha Ronson. She's friends with Marc Jacobs, his ex-fiancé (and former hooker) Jason Preston, The Hills' Lauren Conrad, model Jessica Stam, random internet socialite Cory Kennedy, and a whole host of other notable idiots. It's funny to see that all these loathsome people are connected, though I guess it makes some perfect cosmic sense in a way. Though maybe they don't all get along. She's friends with a "Hiilary Duff" (a notorious enemy) and, judging by her "Wall," she and model Lauren Hastings seem to be in some sort of fight. Also, as you can see from her "Status," she's totes serious about her new sober living ("It was 430 am!!!" she offers as cryptic explanation for something), even though she's been seen hard partying all over the place. Radar has two theories about the possibly "glassy-eyed" Long Islander). Find her "Wall" after the jump, plus, a profile picture of French toast and Parliament Lights (yum!), from Radar

In all the drama surrounding Edward Norton's Hulk trouble and Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr.'s gloriously checkered past, we've overlooked one of the more conspicuous problems afflicting this summer's superhero glut. To wit: Where are all the women? Are there any comics featuring female heroes whom some studio will take a chance shepherding to the screen? At least one commentator shares our concern at Vulture, and the prognosis isn't looking good: