Today Washington, D.C. was all atwitter with the graduation of President Obama from first-term president to second-term president. Here is your Inauguration 2013 yearbook.

Wait until about thirty seconds in for the shit-eatingest of all of the vice president's shit-eating grins. I guess I'm on the penis beat today. [via Buzzfeed]

First Lady Michelle Obama was a NASCAR Grand Marshal at today's Ford 400 (so was her sidekick, Second Lady Jill Biden), so she naturally received a warm welcome from patriotic NASCAR fans. Kidding! She got booed.

The White House has released Barack and Michelle Obama's 2010 tax returns! These grifters really cashed in, too: $1,728,096 in adjusted gross income, mostly from book royalties. How much did you poor slugs make last year in the last remaining American profession, selling handjobs outside the T.G.I. Friday's? Probably not $1,728,096 in adjusted gross income! We need a fellow poor guy like Donald Trump in the Oval Office, soon.

[First Lady Michelle Obama, Second Lady Jill Biden, and actress Sarah Jessica Parker appeared at a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee in New York City. Photo via AP.]

What's Joe Biden doing right now? He and Jill Biden are taking in some sun at Cryder Beach in Southampton, according to a tipster who generously sent along a few photos of the shirtless Vice President under a beach umbrella.

Barack and Michelle Obama are having coffee with George and Laura Bush right now! It's an inaugural tradition — and wouldn't you know that those hick Clintons screwed it up last time?