Gerard Butler rejects Kelly Bensimon, Adam Lambert's fans throw sex toys at him, Ashley Olsen is surprised she didn't end up like Britney, Ryan O'Neal gave his 11-year-old son cocaine, Joan Rivers hates Jon Gosselin and Madonna plagiarizes a poet.

We'll admit, there were some funny lines in this serenade to Rupert Murdoch at the Wall Street Journal's "D" event. But isn't buttering up the boss at the absolute beginning of your tech conference a little blatant?