Madonna takes a passive-aggressive swipe at Lady Gaga. Ryan Gosling makes out with Eva Mendes. Jake Gyllenhaal snuggles a Twilight star. A wild man breaks into Celine Dion's home and pillages for pastries. Wednesday gossip is mad for madeleines, moonstruck for doughnuts, cuckoo for choux.

Little Dakota Fanning is all grown up and making everyone feel like a pedophile. Alongside Kristen Stewart, Dakota shakes her distressingly young chest in this music video for Joan Jett biopic The Runaways. Somewhere, Taylor Momsen is seething with envy.

Brad's brother thinks something's rotten in the state of Brangelina, but other rumors conflict. Jersey Shore drives a hard bargain and risks getting shut out. Gary Coleman gets arrested. ScarJo on stage gets a rave review. Monday gossip starts now.

If 'Avatar' makes as much money as 20th Century Fox basically needs it to, we may never see a plain 2D movie again. Variety reports that 3D films tripled their B.O. take this year, to $1.3 billion.

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. turns 58 today. NBA commissioner David Stern is turning 67. Art world fixture and chief curator of the Studio Museum Thelma Golden is 44. Fox Business anchor Neil Cavuto is turning 51. Bonnie Hunt turns 45. Joan Jett is 51. Singer/writer Nick Cave is 52. Opera singer Andrea Bocelli is turning 51. Hall of fame baseball manager Tommy Lasorda is 82. Retired Rangers star Mike Richter turns 43. And Scott Baio is 48 today.

[Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett in a new biopic, filming in LA; image via Bauer-Griffin]

THR reports Twilight star/stoop stoner Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett (c'mon, everybody: "I! Love! B.C. Haze! So put another gram in the hash pipe, baby!") in a biopic about the most badass all-girl band that ever lived—The Runaways.

The Linda Stein murder caper felt like a Law & Order episode all along. So it's no surprise the show is now appropriating the sensational real-life crime for a plotline. Joan Jett will star as the slain rock manager-turned-realty bigshot and Det. Mike Logan (Chris Noth) will solve the homicide in an hour or less. [NY Post]

Hello, world, it's your wild girl! And we're glad to see she's back in black hair (the platinum thing made us sometimes confuse her with Annie Lennox). Gawker photographer Nikola Tamindzic snapped the lovelies at Anna Sui this morning, including rumored lesbian lovers Joan Jett (pictured) and Carmen Electra (pictures down there someplace). And hey, Anna Sui clothes are looking good! If you'd like to see more, Nikola's full gallery is here.

1. Hear Lou Reed at the Union Square Barnes & Noble.
2. Catch Joan Jett and the Blackhearts at the China Club.
3. View Leonardo da Vinci's drawings at the Met.