When Baltimore's City Paper was sold to the company that owns the Baltimore Sun earlier this year, the first casualty of its independence—before the sale even went through—was the February 26 column by City Paper stalwart and occasional Gawker and Kinja contributor Joe MacLeod. MacLeod's "Mr. Wrong" column, written in response to the news of the sale, was pulled from the presses on order of his soon-to-be-ex-bosses at Times-Shamrock Communications and spiked. More unpleasantness ensued. Here, for posterity, is that lost column.

Writes Baltimore City Paper columnist Mr. Wrong: "I'm sick of this every-other-week crap, so if you have a 'hole' (that's newspaper talk for 'space') and you are interested in filling it with column, please note my second item of this year's 'Top Ten,' which is getting paid, because I really dig on that hard and deep, almost as much as I used to dig on the Subway Sub Club until they kicked everybody out of it, which two years later still pisses me off because I was only two stamps away from getting a half of a foot-long tuna on wheat, with provolone, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, red hots, and salt and pepper put on my sub in that exact order as I slid my feet sideways with my hands almost touching the Subway spit guard, watching the Subway Sandwich Conductor lay plastic-coated mitts on my toppings, but now I totally boycott Subway until they do a Sub Club Amnesty or something. Really, man, I bet I'm not the only estranged and disillusioned Sub Clubber holding an almost-full stamp card, hah? Anyway, if you have a place to put Weekly Wrong, why don't you just go ahead and contact me at my exciting new e-mail address, wrongcolumn@gmail.com." [City Paper]

While we were out snarfing turkeys last week, turns out America's best newspaper typist was putting out a column! Better you read it late than never: "Hey, speaking of meat, have you seen those commercials where these mom-type ladies are trying to kill the King from Burger King? I'm not sure those are some good commercials, you know? I mean, I love me some Burger King, and I enjoy the enigmatic "The King" character currently featured in many of the Burger King promotions, and while I try not to overthink (or even think) on stuff, one could theorize and summarily conclude these women are trying to kill The King because he's trying to kill The Children with his delicious Whopper and Double Cheeseburger meat sandwiches, right? That's what I got out of it, anyway. It's not gonna stop me from going to Burger King when I need a Double Cheeseburger, but then where's the Carbon Footprint there, huh? Or should I say Carbon Assprint?" [City Paper]

Joe MacLeod, America's best newspaper columnist, proves his mettle today by phoning in a column nearly entirely composed of Gawker comments about his last column. "This fucking gawker gets people to click on their shit and they make money on that, with ads, so that's, like, stealing from me, so even more-plus, I don't have to write anything this week, har!" We can only aspire to such transparency regarding our equally strong desire to not work! You win this round, MacLeod. [Baltimore City Paper]