If you see Arianna Huffington today, don't forget to say "xronia polla." The pundit, author and Greek native is 59. Others celebrating today: Beth Ostrosky Stern is turning 37. Actress Diane Kruger is turning 33. Paul Sevigny is 38. Forest Whitaker is 48. Guitar legend Joe Satriani turns 53. David Easton, the prominent interior designer, is turning 73. Club owner Don Hill is 65. Real estate scion Dan Tishman is turning 54. Former wrestler (and governor) Jesse Ventura is 58. Actor Scott Foley is turning 37. Marky Ramone of The Ramones is 56. Brian Austin Green is 36. And Brigitte Nielsen celebrates her 46th birthday today.

Joe Satriani calls off his Coldplay-chasing subpeona hounds. [E!]

The moody pop/performance-art troupe Coldplay is getting ready for one of the biggest weekends of its career, rehearsing Grammy acceptance speeches even as its members prepare to dodge Joe Satriani's legal wrath.

You've heard the charges, you've reviewed the evidence, now hear the testimony: Coldplay issued a statement today insisting that "Viva La Vida" is in fact their own cloying anthem — not lifted from a 12-year-old melody by shreddy guitar legend Joe Satriani. Or, as the quartet so cleverly like to refer to him to their crowds (at least until he sued), "Moe Batriani."

Grammy Hell mascots Coldplay have pissed off yet another music listener with their anthem "Viva La Vida," but Joe Satriani won't settle for just turning off the noise. In a copyright infringement suit filed Thursday in L.A., the wanky virtuoso alleges that he actually wrote the noise. The evidence (such as it were) follows the jump.