In the two weeks since an owl attack sent surgeon Ron Jaecks running in circles screaming, at least three more people have been assaulted by the same bird in the same Salem, Oregon, park.

On last night's episode of Conan, Conan O'Brien got right to the meat of The Leftovers/Justin Theroux's career and asked about the actor's much-discussed bulge.

The West Nile Virus, which just celebrated its 13th anniversary in North America, is having it's best year yet. So far it's killed 41 and infected over 1,100. I know what you're all thinking: has it really been 13 years? And yes, I also feel old now.

For years, nay, decades, public health scolds have tried and tried to politely inform the American people that drinking gallon upon gallon of Fanta cola in lieu of water could have negative health effects, including but not limited to the fact that we as a nation are now enormous. But! Now, public health advocates have learned to tap into that most primal fear of Americans: fear of exercise.

Reese Witherspoon is recovering from "minor injuries" after being hit by a car in Santa Monica. The driver was the elephant from Water for Elephants. Kidding! It was an 84-year-old woman who was cited for failure to yield. [KTLA]

Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is totally a nice guy who we definitely don't want to insult, at all, carries a .380 Ruger with him when he jogs, because he is afraid of snakes. On Tuesday, he killed a coyote.

Parenthood these days: It is full of challenges, or so we hear! As a parent, will you be able to successfully continue jogging? And what about your tennis game, and the peer pressure that goes with it? Parenting is hard!

Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl seized a golden opportunity and went out for a jog during Los Angeles's magic hour last night. Once she moved past the smog, traffic snarls, and unsavory characters that lined the streets, the beauty of the city surprised Heigl. However, Heigl could not escape a group of photographers who popped out of bushes, trees, and water fountains as she ran. Heigl stopped mid-stride and asked, "Can't I just work on my fitness without you and your entire posse snappily judging me? I need to get in shape for my man, the rocker. No, not the Rainn Wilson variety. He's more like the John Mayer variety, minus all that Jennifer Aniston bashing. Love her, btw. Now, either let me jog in peace or go fetch me a purple-flavored Vitamin Water from the 7-11."

Jeremy Piven most certainly felt the burn while jogging in Malibu on Monday afternoon. The Smokin' Aces star reportedly began to cramp up somewhere between mile two and three and attempted to walk it off. Piven slowly walked down the street, hoping that a car full of co-eds from near by Pepperdine University would come by and offer a ride back to his place. Alas, they never did, and Piven was forced to walk hands-on-hips all the way back to his place.

Sarah Chubb is not just the president of CondeNet, the online division of Conde Nast—she's also a "nationally ranked cyclist." And she's damn tired of you plodding runners hating on her cycling style in the wild streets of Central Park, for real! "There is a lot of hate," she tells New York mag. "The Road Runners club can take over the entire park, and they get pissed at us if our races go past 8 a.m. The runners don't stay where they're supposed to stay, they're wearing headphones, and they'll scream at you if you ask them to get out of the way!" Fools. If you think that CondeNet president Sarah Chubb will hesitate to run you over at high speed, well, you don't know anything about making it in the media. [NY Mag. Pic via NYO]