Dan Fost at the San Francisco Chronicle at last discovers the provenance of this legendary pic of Federated Media's John Battelle. Turns out that the photo originally emanated — like so much in tech news — from the machinations of John Dvorak. It dates from Battelle's Industry Standard days, taken by Dvorak during one of Battelle's infamous "money-wasting Friday parties." Dvorak photoshopped the pic to look like black-and-white film, gave it the Register, and presto: net artifact for the ages.

It's the usual fluffery in this BusinessWeek love note to John Battelle and his Federated Media, including the literal money shot: "Last year, [FM] sold more than $10 million in advertising for about 90 Web sites. This year, Battelle says it is on track to turn a profit and increase sales fivefold." Check the counter-quote from none other than Jason Calacanis, who dislikes the idea of not owning the blogs in the network: "The second you build your client's business past $500,000 a year, they hire their own sales force." Doesn't leave a lot of room to maneuver with recently acquired FM client Ask a Ninja, reputedly brought aboard with a $300,000 guarantee. That's not the best thing about this article, though.

Web 2.0 Summit MC John Battelle makes a news announcement before the morning break:

Steve Baldwin of DisObey chronicles ghost sites, or as I like to call it abandonweb, told Valleywag that John Battelle fansite, Battelle Watch, hasn't been updated since late September 2006. The lack of recent content can not be due to any lack of newsworthy shenanigans (that's right, shenanigans, yes I went there) on the part of everyone's favorite pseudo-ad mogul, we hope Battelle Watch's absence is only temporary.

Folks new to the bubble scene may know John Battelle only as the man running the Federated Media blog ad network. Those with another year's experience will remember his book about Google, The Search. But the writer of the anti-Battelle blog Battelle Watch remembers the Internet maven's 90s career as founder of the Industry Standard, a New and Bold News Site about the New and Bold Economy (both of which disappeared when the Old and Not-Dead-Yet Economy rumbled back in 2001).

The Bart Nagel photo above depicts the big throbbing brains of uberblog Boing Boing, namely, from left to right, Mark Frauenfelder, David Pescovitz, John Battelle, Cory Doctorow, and Xeni Jardin. In a doofy "New-Media Power List" in the Wall Street Journal, the photo is charmingly cropped to include the slinky hotness of Jardin, plus an incidental Doctorow behind her ear (though we're sure they would have liked to excise him as well). The blurb also mentions only Jardin and Doctorow, neatly avoiding the buzzkill of three more nerdy-glasses dudes in the photo (or the article). Of course, Boing Boing readers offered no sympathy, instead offering a quick arithmetic lesson.

BusinessWeek's hype-killing article on Google's product line has everyone buzzing about the company's product cycle. Guest writer Garry Bibb explains the process — it all starts with a Battlestar Galactica marathon and some Mike's Hard Lemonade.

So Google counts over 23 billion pages on the Internet — who cares? Nothing's really online until it's been "Dugg," "Farked," and "Boing Boinged." And when your new quirky blog post ("Meta-Katamari George Bush MacBook Pro Naked") gets passed around the memepool, it'll be surrounded by John Battelle's ads.

Special Valleywag Weekend Updates on the Web 2.O'Reilly shitstorm:

• TechCrunch blog mogul Michael Arrington (pictured here waving some shock) smirks at pundit Richard MacManus, who decided that Web 2.0 is undead resurrected: "While I enjoy watching Richard struggle with his inner self, and trying to find security in his beliefs, I think I'll carry on as I have - mostly ignoring the debate and focusing on the companies that are defining the new web." Snap. [CrunchNotes]

This year, as every year, Brian Alvey of the Weblogs, Inc. Network renewed JohnBattelle.com. UPDATE: Brian Alvey of Weblogs Inc. doesn't still own JohnBattelle.com, but because his WIN partner Jason Calacanis sold it along with the Silicon Alley Reporter, he's been listed as owning the domain ever since the first boom.

¬ Having blogged that Facebook should take the $750 mil and run, dot-com expert John Battelle backtracks when the Harvard Crimson calls. The key to looking prescient: always have two contradictory opinions to point back to. [Harvard Crimson]
¬ Marissa Mayer gets interviewed — in German (or translated, at least). Philipp Lenssen of Google Blogoscoped translates the highlights. Says Google's VP of search: "Nobody ever writes about how we constantly improve our ranking system!" Because it'd be such a riveting story! [Google Blogoscoped]
¬ Kansas City is the new Silicon Valley. [MSNBC]
¬ Wait, Bangalore is the new Silicon Valley. [DNA India]
¬ New York Times Valley correspondent John Markoff (pictured somewhere up there) reads Valleywag. I hope he's commenting as "openwag". [POP! PR Jots]
¬ Things MC Hammer says in his guest post the Google Video Blog: "He [his character in a music video] is willing to do 'all tricks' if she 'speaks it from her lips.' This willingness is possible only if he gets to know her. He seeks commitment, romance and sensitivity." Things Hammer says in the video: "Girl, I need to know your name." Now that is commitment. [Google Video Blog]

Blogger's Fuel says, "What do bloggers need? Great coffee!" Sure, if by "great coffee" they mean "a Jack and Coke." [BloggersFuel.com]
The normally mild-mannered tech blogger Michael Arrington, benefit-of-the-doubt giver to all startups, lays the TechCrunch smackdown on Jigsaw. The startup pays you to rat out your friends to its contact list — a dollar for every pal you betray to marketers. Privacy violation make HulkCrunch mad! HulkCrunch smash! [Jigsaw is a really bad idea]
Why is MySpace so successful? Social network expert danah boyd credits social-life integration, a massive user base, friendly governance, activities, convenient brokenness, and possible faddishness. (I credit the hot chicks on it.) [Friendster lost steam. Is MySpace just a fad?]
AjaxWrite — it's Word online. Microsoft doesn't need one, Google already has one, and Yahoo's just not into that — if a dot-com launches and no one's there to buy it, does it make a flip? [AjaxWrite, the Newest Ajax Office Entrant]
San-Fran-based MyNewPlace just got $8 million in funding. The site will offer apartment listings online. Because no one else is doing that. [MyNewPlace Gets Funding For Spring Launch]
Look, if you want to run a dot-com, pitch your TVRank idea to John Battelle — he wants realtime online TV ratings. And I hear he knows a few VCs. [TVRank: Tell Me What People Are Watching]

Sometimes, after Valleywag reports on things, they keep happening. Follow-ups to a few recent stories:

John Battelle loves Google. He started his book The Search by calling Google clever. (And from then on it gets friendlier.) He went to Google to give a reading of the book. Nowadays he plays a Google expert on TV.

Federated Media Publishing, the hot top-down (or bottom-up or whatever the new hot way to do things is) website network, closed its Series A funding round this week. Members like TechCrunch and GigaOM (and even FM Pub newbie Tailrank) pile on congratulations.

Federated Media Publishing is launching a portal page, according to an unconfirmed a confirmed rumor. Think 9rules, but with much bigger players. The massive blog collective (founded by former Industry Standard founder John Battelle) sells ads for Boing Boing, Fark, and a few other hefty blog titles.

In the valley, even Gawker comments have a price. [eBay]
Wifi startup FoN, on a day full of positive news, decides to waste its whuffie by lying about a deal. [Om Malik on GigaOm]
John Battelle says Lycos laid off most of its search team; haven't found any corroboration yet, but that won't keep bloggers from spreading the rumor, right? [Searchblog]
Google's London HQ isn't as snackpacked as Mountain View. [sandeeko on Flickr]
Google punishes BMW's German site; image search for "BMW" now shows happy people at Tiananmen Square. [Bloomberg on AZ Central]