Remember when John "Evil Ned Flanders" Bolton, the pickled death mustache who used to represent America at the United Nations, was yammering about a possible run for president, just so he could bomb Iran? He still hasn't made up his mind. Well, keep taking your time! No one's hurrying you.

Two ships from the Iranian navy passed through the Suez Canal today en route to the Mediterranean. Quick — someone check John Bolton's blood pressure!

Egypt! It's so complicated. Is it a popular democratic uprising? Or is it a collusion between the Muslim Brotherhood and Bill Ayers in the hopes of instating global Sharia law? Or is it just a sign of the Muslim antichrist?

Any single event that happens on Earth is, to former U.N. Ambassador and possible presidential candidate John Bolton, another reason to bomb Iran immediately. So what's his rationale for bombing Iran immediately in the case of, say, Egyptian protests?

Rudy Giuliani and several former Bush Administration officials who were criticized last week for attending a rally for what the State Department says is a terrorist organization—which was probably illegal—have responded. They say their terror group doesn't count.

Did Rudy Giuliani, Tom Ridge, John Bolton, and a bunch of other neocons really attend a rally in support of a communist Saddam Hussein-loving terrorist organization last month? Yes! Is that really a crime? Yes!

Oh boy, we hope this happens: Evil Ned Flanders (né John Bolton) is considering a White House run in 2012, because if "inexperienced senators from Illinois" can do it, why can't he? He's coming for your ass, Ahmadinejad! [Politico]

Former Bush administration U.N. ambassador and angry flappy-mouthed war monster John Bolton has been asked, out of the blue, if he'd consider a presidential run in 2012. He can't bring himself to say "no." Oh god. Run for cover!

Former UN ambassador and current bloodthirsty lunatic John Bolton urges Israel to bomb Iran now.

Give Joe Biden a high five. The Vice President of the United States turns 67 today. (Let's all hope he gets through the day without any more accidents.) The oldest member of Congress, Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, turns 92 today. Former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton is 61. Mike D of the Beastie Boys turns 44. Joel McHale of The Soup and Community is turning 38. Pat Kiernan of NY1 is turning 41. Actress Sean Young is 50. Bo Derek turns 53. Author Don DeLillo is turning 73. TV anchor Judy Woodruff turns 63. Avant-garde performer Meredith Monk is 67. Tween star Cody Linley turns 20. Former Eagles member Joe Walsh is turning 62. And Mark Gastineau, the retired football star and father of Brittny, is 53. Below: A few folks celebrating birthdays this weekend, including Scarlett Johansson and Tina Brown.

Walrus-creature and war-monger John Bolton used to be undersecretary of state for arms control and international security. Guess what the new folks found when they moved into his old office? A dank and moist dungeon, that's what.

Ever wonder how The Daily Show books so many guests of the conservative persuasion? Apparently it has something to do with the fact that Jon Stewart is one of the few hosts on television who's considered fair and intellectually curious.

Today in the Washington Post editorial page: former UN Ambassador and unpleasant mustachioed asshole John Bolton says it is time for Israel to start a war with Iran.

Joe Biden has one more thing to celebrate today: It's his 66th birthday. Others blowing out candles today: The Soup's Joel McHale is 37. Author Don DeLillo is 72. Longtime TV journalist Judy Woodruff is 62. Avant-garde singer Meredith Monk turns 66. Bo Derek is 52. Former U.N. ambassador John Bolton is turning 60. The Beastie Boys' Mike D is 43. Hannah Montana star Cody Linley is turning 19. And Mark Gastineau, former football star, ex-husband of Lisa, and father of Brittny, is 52 years old.