Okay, so this is technically a parody ad produced by Funny or Die. But it still stars John Goodman as a maybe-gay, definitely-creepy Colonel who extols the virtues of picking KFC over Chick-fil-A (they're open on Sundays!).

Conan's return to television begins tonight, in preparation watch the whole first episode of the original Late Night with Conan O'Brien online. Inside, watch Conan O'Brien's first time hosting late night talk show.

Just so very many people in the Navy seem to be murdered, every week. And you all can't stop watching it. Also today: three rich girls do rich things and want to be congratulated for it, plus casting.

Today at Gawker.TV, John Goodman talks about his recent slim-down, Stephen Colbert proposes changing the term "tweet" to "gurgle" because birds in the Gulf are covered in oil, and Betty White is Hot in Cleveland's one (and only!) saving grace.

John Goodman has lost a lot of weight recently and looks great, but check out seventies Goodman! Letterman shows us a young Goodman who was just getting his start in commercials while living in New York.

John Goodman was on The View this morning, and made a series of terrible puns that even left the ladies feeling a little lost for words. His demeanor showed he hasn't deviated too far from his role on Roseanne.

The first full-length trailer for HBO's Treme, David Simon's second TV show after The Wire, features John Goodman, takes place in post-Katrina New Orleans, focuses on jazz, and looks like a can't miss. We. Cannot. Wait.

Salman Rushdie turns 62 today. Buffed-up gym owner David Barton is 45. Money manager Mario Gabelli is turning 67. Model May Andersen turns 27. The Insider's Lara Spencer is 40. Joseph McShane, the president of Fordham University, is turning 60. Phylicia Rashad is turning 61. Actress Kathleen Turner turns 55. Attorney Helene Kaplan is 76. Interior designer David Netto is turning 40. Former financier and deputy mayor Ken Lipper is 68. Hugh Dancy, the actor and fiancé of Claire Danes, is turning 34. Zoe Saldana turns 31. Sadie Frost, the actress and ex-wife of Jude Law, is 44. And Paula Abdul is turning 47. Weekend birthdays after the jump!

David Letterman attending a Rangers game at Madison Square Garden and seated not far from where Jimmy Fallon was cheering on the team with his wife, Nancy Juvonen ... John Leguizamo and wife Justine walking their poodle ... Hilary Duff running errands near Union Square ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts carrying coffee downtown ... Brad Pitt visiting Angelina Jolie on the set of Salt ... Rachel McAdams walking in the West Village ... America Ferrera, Michael Urie, and Becki Newton on the set of Ugly Betty ... John Goodman wandering around by himself ... and Arpad Busson leaving Uma Thurman's townhouse in the Village with her son Levon.

Beloved Coen Brothers regular John Goodman was spotted exit a restroom in Malibu early this morning. Goodman did his best Ace Ventura impression and said that he did not want to go in there for a while. "I had one too many wings the other night over at Happy Endings," Goodman remarked with a smirk.

· Richard Meier says his proposal for Ground Zero got slammed by New Yorker critic Paul Goldberger because Meier refused to bend the LMDC's rules and give Goldberger the plans in advance. [Page Six]
· Possibly coming to New York: "J Edgar! The Musical." (Starring the actors behind the Simpsons, Kelsey Grammer, John Goodman and Christopher Guest.) [NY Daily News]
· Harper's Bazaar Editor Glenda Bailey on rumors of her impending demise: "If people want to waste time gossiping, that's up to them. I couldn't feel more secure." [The Word]