A child of Jon and Kate Gosselin is injured after an unsuccessful sacrificial offering to Nielsen gods by TLC. Madonna's child caper! Susan Boyle: distraught. Harry Potter and Radiohead? Yeezey's girlfriend! Presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup. Happy Father's Day!

Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup:

Are you sick of Jon and Kate Gosselin? Probably. But that's not going to stop the media from writing about them. They apparently just discovered the story, and in a room in Minnesota, news types are wringing their hands over missing it for so long.

Jon Goesselin can't escape his family, Kevin Bacon's mugger escapes capture, Paul Allen can definitely escape Cannes, Josh Duhamal tries to escape death at Indy 500: presenting your man-happy Sunday afternoon gossip roundup.