Jonah Goldberg, a Republican National Review columnist, is a white man. Do you think this means that he is not attuned to the nuances of race in America? You are wrong.

Last we heard from Glenn Beck, he was dunking Obama dolls in jars full of fake piss, all in the name of art. Well, now he's set his artistic goals even higher; the former Fox News troll is collaborating with Vince Vaughn on a new reality TV project. The show, called "Pursuit of Truth," will set 20 documentary filmmakers against each other for the prize of having their film, which will no doubt be taken seriously, financed and distributed. All nine of the show's episodes will air on Beck's network, The Blaze TV.

Yesterday, former Gawkerer and current Salon writer Alex Pareene wrote a completely accurate and well-deserved knife-twisting takedown of Jonah Goldberg, the National Review's most youthful self-impressed hack. If you are unsure as to whether or not Jonah Goldberg is a hack, I encourage you to read Pareene's piece in full. Besides being a hack, we'd like to point out that Jonah Goldberg is also the most sniveling sort of armchair warrior bitch.

Heavyset American Jonah Goldberg has a new book coming out about how the people he disagrees with are not merely wrong, but are also poisonous hateful cheaters and liars and fascists and tyrants. The dust jacket claims that Goldberg has "twice been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize," which is true in the sense that I am a three-time World's Greatest Dad nominee.

The National Review's Jonah Goldberg thinks recent advancements in the cause of gay rights are ironic, since serving in the military and getting married are normal, whereas gays are freaky and wear ballgags all the time. Joke's on you, gays!

It's a serious question. Goldberg, the author of Liberal Fascism and in-house funny-guy at the National Review, wrote a column today wondering why the CIA hasn't assassinated Wikileaks founder Julian Assange yet. What are they, lazy? Get to it, boys!

Todd Seavey is a contributor to Proud to be Right, Jonah Goldberg's new collection of conservative essays. Seavey's ex-girlfriend, Helen Rittelmeyer, is also a contributor. Recently, they both appeared on C-SPAN2's Book TV to discuss. That's when things got weird.

Neither right-wing American pundit Jonah Goldberg nor French-wire-service-reporter Olivier Knox wanted to gaze upon the U.S.'s engorged senators; Jason Pontin saw the sky falling again; and Bow Wow wants his own movie. The Twitterati couldn't bring themselves to face reality.

Oh, good, Jonah Goldberg just got a million dollars to write another book. Hooray for the publishing industry!

The UN Human Rights Council has a special rapporteur investigating affordable housing conditions in New York, which is depressing, frankly, unless you are Jonah Goldberg, in which case it is hilarious.

Bad couple day: Robert Pattinson's Tina Fey lust would be inappropriate, except she started it; there's a conspiracy against the Rihanna-Chris Brown reunion; and John Mayer maybe dumped Jennifer Aniston.