• Times reporter Judith Miller is finally released from jail, coming home to an awkward office party with cake and ice cream.
• Network morning shows compete for ratings and saved seats in heaven.
• Jon Stewart gives his two cents — and then some — on the squalid state of magazines.
• Conde Nast and Fairchild start to sleep in the same bed, Details finds itself but not its readers, and Vitals is anything but.
• Anti-everything novelist Jonathan Franzen tries to destroy any remaining hope you might have for creative literature.
• Comments get fiery over the sexuality of CNN's Anderson Cooper; we lose sleep over the implication of being a "power bottom."
• Predictably, coked-up supermodel Kate Moss enters rehab.
• And, last but certainly not least, New Yorkers are screwed when it comes to emergency management.

When it comes to the Jonathan Wunderkinds — successful novelists Franzen, Lethem, and Safran Foer — we tend to pick our battles. That is to say, we'll focus maybe on the work or media flurry surrounding one Jonathan at a time, lest we confuse our Illuminated Fortresses with our Twenty-Seventh Incredibly Loud Disappontments.

She draws from Toronto, but illustrator and cartoonist Patricia Storms has identified just the right superhero pair to save sensitive, intellectual New York men from utter and complete emasculation: The Comic-Book Novelists!

And now, in non-war news [Ed. note—don't get too used to it.]...a reader notes that Haypenny has done their own version of McSweeney's #10,—"the one 'guest-edited' by Michael Chabon, featuring stories by Stephen King, among others". "Contributing authors" to this edition—"co-edited by Salman Rushdie and Jonathan Franzen and featuring the artwork of Lisa Frank"—include Tom Clancy ("Smack My Bitch Up"), John Grisham ("He Died With His Boots Off"), Judy Blume ("Fatal Heat") and Frank McCourt ("I Should Have Just Killed You When I Had the Chance").

Haypenny 10: courageous dolphin stories

Highlights and lowlights from the NY literary scene:
· Caleb Carr fired off a letter to Salon book critic Laura Miller calling her "Reason no. 8 why the soul of New York City is dying," and saying that she was a "bitchy wise ass," who's part of "the club that meets at [NYT book critic] Michiko's [Kakutani] to watch 'Sex in the City' and spout a lot of nonsense about things they don't know." He had gotten bad reviews.
· UES millionaire author Jonathan Franzen received a $20,000 NEA grant, which he claimed in September to have used to buy two expensive paintings. He then retracted the statement, saying he had actually used the money to buy "17 sculptures by struggling artists."
· Colson Whitehead, winner of the NY Public Library's $10,000 Young Lion Fiction Award, mentioned that he had never returned the books he used to research his novel. Library president Le Clerc replied that he had a "bright future," but would now have to pay his $10,000 in library fines.
· Prozac Nation author Elizabeth Wurtzel says that being near the World Trade Center during the September 11th attacks "really annoyed her."
2002 awards [MobyLives via Hands Free]