Joseph Brooks won an Academy Award for writing the song "You Light Up My Life." On the minus side, he was accused of being a serial rapist and his son was charged with murdering his girlfriend and then Joseph killed himself.

It seems that America's sweetheart might not be recording an album after all. Also today: Zach Galifianakis starts shit with January Jones, Wills and Kate swim with sharks, and Leo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake know all the best ladies.

Joseph Brooks, who won an Oscar for writing the hit "You Light Up My Life," was found dead in his Upper East Side apartment yesterday. He suffocated himself with a plastic bag and left a long, rambling note that stated he would be cleared of the sexual assault charges he was facing.

Accused of raping starlets, movie composer Joseph Brooks appeared in court today, four days after his son appeared in the same courthouse for attempted murder. Just like in the movies, the bailiffs broke into song: "It's a family affa-a-air." [NYDN]

Nicholas Brooks, the 24-year-old son of pervy composer Joseph Brooks, has already been charged with the attempted murder of the girlfriend who was trying to dump him, Sylvie Cachay. But he may soon be charged with murder, too. [NYP]

33-year-old swimsuit designer Sylvie Cachay has been identified as the woman found dead in a bathtub at Manhattan's posh Soho House hotel. Just hours before her body was discovered she dumped her boyfriend, the privileged son of an Oscar-winning composer.

The Oscar-winning composer of the sickly sweet "You Light Up My Life" is actually, prosecutors say, a dirty old serial rapist monster. We should have known.

• Just in case Mercy won't have enough culture shock to deal with when she arrives in NYC, Madonna reportedly wants to turn her newly-acquired Upper East Side townhouse into a "replica" of her countryside estate in England. She's having her staffers "troll the Upper East Side boutiques for candelabras, side tables, and period chaises." And poor Mercy will be looking to hop a flight back to Africa pretty soon. [Mirror]
• Break out the tissues: It seems Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have split up. [Us]
• Oprah is taking 100 employees and their families on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean to celebrate her birthday. [NYDN]
• Justin Timberlake got kinda drunk at Avenue the other night. He still had the sense to "shoo" Lindsay Lohan away, but he may have gotten cozy with a woman who was not Jessica Biel, depending on who you believe. [P6]