Oh, dear god: The Obama White House is liveblogging itself. What's the point of liveblogging this stuff ourselves when we can just read this stuff in our pajamas?

In your sumptuous Tuesday media feast: Celebrity mags flounder, interns replace reporters, Ron Burkle's steaming mad, the New Yorker has jokes, and more!

Waitress turned self-appointed wealth expert Suze Orman is a terrible person, according to Slate's Big Money. That's because this evil financial sorceress recommends an investing strategy called "dollar-cost averaging." What?

Who was that in the Grammys press area, screaming out the biggest cheers of the night? Some kind of obsessive, barely-credentialed teenaged blogger? Hardly.

Think Barack Obama's Monday-night press conference was about economic policy or endless Mideast war or whatever? Fool. It was the latest round in the White House press corps' endless dick-measuring contest.

Here's a great clip from tonight's Daily Show, showing Bill O'Reilly condemning paparazzi as the "scum of the Earth" for privacy invasion, then dispatching his Fox News camera goons to people's homes.

Alex Rodriguez just admitted using steroids, but the Yankees third baseman doesn't want anyone to lose sight of another outrage: Sports Illustrated is supposedly stalking him.

In your temperate Monday media column: How ABC landed the octuplet-grandma "scoop," yet another plan to save the NYT, journalism lives(?), and a magazine dies (no question):

Isn't it a hoot—an ironic hoot—that Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs has a combatative relationship with the press, even though as we all know the press are all liberals who worship Obama? This is what Gibbs said about the cable news, today:

Today the NYT takes a crack at reporting on its own finances. But an editor accidentally titles it "Resilient Strategy for Times Despite Toll of a Recession," rather than "A Laundry List of Horrible Mistakes":

The New York Times is absolutely obsessed with showing the world how wretched it is to earn just a half million dollars per year. Today it told the story with numbers.

Honestly, what is up with CBS News anchorlady Katie Couric? First she lets a high-school reporter scoop her, and now she's too lazy to get to a studio for Howie Kurtz's Reliable Sources?

Katie Couric got scooped by a kid! Jega Sanmugam of Dougherty Valley High in San Ramon, Calif. published his sitdown with Flight 1549 miracle pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger before her 60 Minutes interview aired.

Within the self-involved newsrooms of America, there is much handwringing over ever-shrinking Washington bureaus. Why? They'd just as soon quit, from what we gather. Today's White House pool report from ace reporter Bill Theobald:

Respect where it's due: an LA adman made an entire YouTube music video for a Valentine's Day song he wrote for an Adweek journalist. Guaranteed press. Extra credit for rhyming with "Eleftheria Parpis."

In your finally Friday media column: TV Guide wants ads on its cover, Journalism students wake up, Twitter has awards, and old folks will soon be (more) confused:

Oh lord oh lord, the trend pieces about Facebook's '25 random things' lists are spreading even faster than the freaking lists themselves. They are the kudzu of the media world! Yesterday was only the beginning:

Most popular story on Marketwatch right now: Why it's a bad idea to buy a home. #2 story: Why it's a good idea to buy a home. Written by: the same reporter. Americans: suckers.

Ann Curry grills the octuplet mom today. Why have all these babies without a steady job, tart? Well, she has one, Ann: media curio. Click to idly watch baby lady entertain you!

So it turns out Arthur Sulzberger Jr. has been seeing his girlfriend Helen Ward since 2005, about three years before the New York Times publisher announced a separation from his wife.