Look: It's a glorious, bona fide press brawl! Caroline Kennedy's withdrawal from senate consideration touched off the rivalry between New York and D.C. news desks. New York won.

Our new president loves transparency and freedom. But he also likes controlling and manipulating the press. That's why a traditionally insidery set of White House reporters' notes is becoming a public controversy.

Mailing it in for Hamilton Nolan, who's, er, on assignment, I'm here with your post-inaugural, Nobama media column.

You'd be hard-pressed to travel anywhere in the world today, pick up a random newspaper, and not see Barack Obama on the front page.

CNBC, the cable business network, claims to have "policies and guidelines" that are "strictly followed." One of them appears to be presenting company flacks as secret "sources." Tech reporter Jim Goldman adheres to it religiously.

Maureen Dowd is thrilled DC is "finally integrated." To celebrate, the Times columnist made an A-list nightclub of her home then dined like French aristocracy.

Last Friday the New York Times sent out a memo telling staffers it's cracking down on expenses across the board. Sunday it published Maureen Dowd's (expensed) account of three days at Canyon Ranch resort. Huh:

In your Monday live-from-the-Chinatown-bus media column: Broke newspapers, Disney saved by Monkees, and Conde Nast's desperate peanut butter restrictions:

CNBC tech reporter Jim Goldman blew the biggest story on his beat by insisting his "sources inside the company" said Apple's Steve Jobs was in tip-top shape. Do these sources even exist?

Like many celebrities, Tom Cruise tries to control journalists. He hates talking about his heavy involvement Scientology, for example. But who knew he'd try to force his interviewers to like Valkyrie?

How desperate is the New York Times for cash? So desperate that the company's talking with shady Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, already the fourth-largest shareholder, to give them "several hundred million dollars" more.

Your cold (double meaning) Friday media column: Star Trib goes bankrupt, layoff rumors, and you can watch Al Jazeera instead of reading book reviews, which will soon be nonexistent:

Barack Obama paid a visit to the Washington Post newsroom yesterday, and our capital's toughest reporters collectively swore to never wash that hand again. Crush on Barry! Nothing wrong with that, says Howard Kurtz:

All of Gotham's tabloids played the miraculous landing of U.S. Air Flight 1549 in the Hudson River big. But can you top their headlines?

Reporters from the New York Times and the Washington Post are the Bloods and Crips of journalism. Today, their conflict escalated into an archly-worded pool report:

In your Thursday media column: Foreign correspondents are anachronized, jobs are vaporized, and the Obamanaguration will not be televised. (Yes it will):

The wall of secrecy surrounding Steve Jobs's medical crisis is breaking down. Now that the Apple CEO has announced he's taking a six-month medical leave, his confidantes are speaking to the press. But which ones?

Two of the hottest 2008 presidential campaign scoops belonged to the Huffington Post's Off the Bus. Arianna Huffington let the citizen journalism project stagnate, then gave it to her godson.

First New York bloggers were incensed by Rex Sorartz's caddish self-promotion in the New York Observer; now fellow Midwesterners are raising questions about the life story he floated in the paper.

There's a reason why CNBC viewers get shortchanged on their tech coverage: Jim Goldman, the network's Silicon Valley bureau chief, is not very tall. It's the kind of thing polite people don't talk about here.