Guess what you're doing about six-to-10 weeks from now? Going to a "spit party!" Thanks to some dynamite PR and one very fancy guest list, plucky young tech firm 23andMe has made DNA testing parties the hottest new trend around. And they're bringing it to the masses—via media moguls at Fashion Week parties, that is. Don't worry, it will eventually trickle down to the rest of us. We say plucky, of course, because the firm was co-founded by the wife of Google oligarch Sergey Brin, and has received "token funding" from Harvey Weinstein and Wendi Murdoch, wife of Rupert, and is having its coming out party this week in the New Yorker and the Times. It's the Little Startup That Could! But why would those folks want to convince yuppies with disposable income to spit into a tube and mail the spit to a research lab, where their complete genetic profile will be uploaded to the web to be shared with friends, loved ones, and curious sex partners? Isn't it obvious...?Google exists for one purpose: to catalog all the information in the known universe, because information is power. Rupert Murdoch exists for one purpose: to disseminate all that information and make a fortune off it. But Rupert Murdoch can't live forever ... unless! Hear us out: 23andMe compiles a record of the most ideal chromosomes from the world's most remarkable genetic freaks (Usian Bolt's speed, Gary Kasparov's logical reasoning, Michael Phelps' giant flippers), melds them with Murdoch's base double-helix blueprint, and then installs the self-aware Rupert virus on a Google server farm. You know how this story ends: