Social network lunch.com is convening "Geeks at the Beach" today and tomorrow in Los Angeles. It's a think tank with "critical thinking... expanding the enlightened mind." So who's there? All the top tech thinkers:

God. Damn. As both an incredible commentary on where MTV has gone and how far Julia Allison's managed to take herself, we present to you Ms. Julia Allison's MTV debut, on Alexa Chung's new show.

Oh those damn bloggers! They're out there, and they're ruining everything. They're pushing things on their dumb blogs that they're being secretly compensated to shill for, things like Sea World. They must be destroyed!

Julia Allison no longer has her last proper job, at Time Out New York. Her reality show fizzled; a business partner ditched her. The archetypal protocelebrity was reduced to shilling for an amusement park. Time for a rebirth, via hair.

Last night, the country's media-tech-social scene collided in something called The Webutante Ball. Instead of forging an alternate universe in a Big Bang-esque explosion, it thankfully existed for one evening atop the Empire Hotel. We braved it for you.

Oy. Vey. In today's New York Post: Sassy-scholar Marisa Meltzer's article covering the "New Wave Of Great Gatsbys" is a pu-pu (poo-poo?) platter of some of New York's most annoying Webtardolite 2.0 Fameball personae. She awarded titles to them. Our turn! Where to begin?

Julia Allison was paid in cash to blog about her trip Sea World, the "lifecasting" celebrity wannabe has belatedly disclosed. So how have the first few days of the trip gone? Allison, who announced her trip with five exclamation marks, seems belatedly conflicted.

Julia Allison sounds so excited: The professional "lifecaster" is headed for "an adventure" at Sea World. As it happens, she's also showing other bloggers how not to make money in a recession.

Theory: the closer internet persona(e) (non grata) Julia Allison gets to your internet startup, the more it's bound to falter. The breaking moment comes when her dog shits on your carpet.

Had an awesome week? Whatever. It was not as totally awesome as the week of Twittering Facebook chanteuse Randi Zuckerberg (of the Mark Zuckerberg Zuckerbergs). Except for the part where Julia Allison stalked her!

Julia Allison thinks she has something to prove, Zillow CEO Rich Barton thinks he personally brought down AT&T, and MSNBC anchor Tamron Hall think she's a neutral vessel for news. Other delusions of the Twitterati:

Former dating columnist Julia Allison, an Internet microcelebrity now famous for not being particularly famous, has finally gone too far in her attempt to acquire Facebook fans. She may even have broken the law.

Julia Allison caught some flack for tweeting yesterday about Rosie O'Donnell's "knock-down drag out" fight with her wife Kelli, but O'Donnell probably didn't expect to keep the incident secret. She's neighbors with Allison, after all.

We think we've figure out Twitter's big news tomorrow: Oprah Winfrey is joining Twitter. Here's the evidence.

Mary Rambin, colon cleanse enthusiast and until this week, one third of dating columnist Julia Allison's egoblogging startup, would like to shoot one of this site's writers "in the scrotum."

Dating columnist Julia Allison must be figuring that everything she has done is meaningless compared to someone paid to throw a ball around. Her Internet popularity has peaked after her dalliance with a football player.

• You didn't think Eliot Spitzer was planning to stay out of the spotlight forever, did you? Rumor has it the disgraced ex-governor is hoping to get his old job back as attorney general once Andrew Cuomo runs for governor in 2010. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, reportedly because Mel has been involved with a Russian singer named Oksana Kolesnikova. [NYP, OK!]
• Madonna's PR offensive continues: Not only is she hoping to win hearts and minds in Malawi by releasing pics of herself holding baby Mercy in her arms, she also has had her former nanny talking up her parenting skills to any reporter willing to listen. [DM, MSNBC]
• Uh oh! Rumor has it Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to spawn again. [Sun]

We don't know what happened after Julia Allison reportedly left a Chicago nightclub with Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. But we do know the fameball was "standing between his thighs, touching them" before she left.

The separation of microcelebrity nontrepreneur Julia Allison, the dating columnist turned egoblogger, and vapid handbag designer Mary Rambin has finally happened even though everyone has known for a month.

Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable: