Bravo announced today that it's giving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump her own reality show, and, somewhere in LA, Kyle Richards' face flashed dark with hag-like rage before she recovered and said "Ohmygod, I'm so happy for you, you look amazing!"

On Watch What Happens Live, Kandi Burruss of the Real Housewives of Atlanta was coerced into playing a sex quiz with her mother. The segment ended with the presentation of a very disturbing gift. Watch what happened, after the jump.

Yesterday Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim Zolciak sang her hit song "Tardy for the Party" live for the first time. It is the scariest thing to happen on television since Britney Spears crashed an burned at the VMAs. Worse even!

• Lindsay Lohan's first collection as Emmanuel Ungaro's "creative director" was unveiled at Paris Fashion Week yesterday. And let's just say the reviews weren't overwhelmingly positive. Described as "cheesy," "dated," and "truly hideous," more than a few critics suggested she get back to acting. And the show ended with Lohan in tears, which probably isn't the most auspicious sign. [MSNBC, WWD, WSJ, Daily Mail]
• Chris Noth is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Tara Wilson. [People]
• In other relationship news, rumor has it Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are planning to get married, too. [NYDN]
• The David Letterman sex-with-staffers scandal was the butt of plenty of jokes on The Jay Leno Show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and this weekend's SNL, not surprisingly. (Seth Meyers called Robert "Joe" Halderman's alleged $2 million extortion attempt a "stupid human trick.") Meanwhile, a second woman, Holly Hester, was identified as another one of the late night host's hook-ups and the tabloids reported Letterman keeps a "bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater," although it might just be an office with a fold-out couch. [Us, NYDN, TMZ]

Maybe it's true, maybe not, but it certainly seems like the amount of tragedy tied to reality television productions gets disproportionately larger each year. The ex-fiance of Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss, A.J. Jewell, was killed last night.