Kate Winslet is the mother(-to-be) of Rocknroll. She and husband Ned Rocknroll are expecting a baby. May it be blessed with its mother's love of space and fire safety, and its father's cool tank tops.

Remember when elegant British superstar Kate Winslet married a man who, like an idiot, changed his name to "Ned RocknRoll," and the whole world let out a collective, "Huh?" Today comes news that clarifies everything: Winslet's wedding gift, courtesy of RocknRoll's billionaire uncle, Richard Branson, is a trip to space. See? Doesn't this all make a lot more sense now?

If you're rich and famous, sometimes surviving a hurricane hell-fire on a private island can lead to true love. Such was the case with Kate Winslet and the amazingly named Ned Rock'nRoll. According to Winslet's rep, the couple were married earlier this month in a secret ceremony in New York. Completing the bizarre, disaster-born romance, the bride was given away by none other than Leonardo DiCaprio, her Titanic co-star.

It's fascinating to think of what might have been if fate had taken a different course — if the RMS Titanic had embarked with sufficient lifeboats, if Captain E.J. Smith had heeded the warnings of icebergs, if Jeremy Sisto had been cast in the movie instead of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Chinese cinema-goers looking to draw Kate Winslet like one of their French girls will have to do so from memory, after the state censored her nude scene in the 2012 Titanic re-release.

Awards shows are compelling because they're occasions for the rich, famous, and beautiful to go above and beyond to the apogee of glamor. The Golden Globes, however—mostly due to the mass quantities of alcohol and other substances in close proximity—are often the occasion for the glamorous to become beastlike in the blink of an eye. (Except Kate Winslet. She is never not absolutely fabulous.)

Aniston assaulted a director, but she says he was asking for it. Fart fetishists can't get enough of Nancy Grace. Ashton Kutcher's mistresses poses topless. Demi Moore still wears her wedding ring. Friday gossip returns to the one who hurt it.

Remember how Kate Winslet had to escape from Richard Branson's private Virgin Island after it caught ablaze during Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene? Well, it appears that the blaze was caused by all the hot hot passion between Winslet and Branson's nephew, Ned, who was also on the scene.

Now that Fashion Week is over here in New York, it migrated to London, where Pippa Middleton was giving everyone a show in the front row. Join us on our little internet talk show where we make fun of the outfits of Naomi Campbell, Katy Perry, Rachel Weisz, Kate Winslet, and a whole lot more. It's the hottest thing for fall.

Just like the weekend, the 63rd Primetime Emmys are history. This year's telecast was hosted by Glee's Jane Lynch and aired live on Fox from the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. Despite Alec Baldwin's last-minute pullout, pretty much every small screen star showed up to celebrate television's biggest night.

Wow, those Emmys sure were a stinker, weren't they? Not only did they fall into the same old Emmys trap of giving the same awards to the same people, but the show itself was a complete dud. It was slow and dated and every opportunity for excitement landed with a great thud.

Megan Fox reassures the world that she is neither robot nor android. Underlings must "turn their faces to a wall" when Madonna walks by. Jane Lynch started smoking at the age of 12. Demi Moore tweets a "topless" picture. Tuesday gossip is practicing human emotions.

Welcome back to Gawkerazzi, when we look at pictures of celebrities and make fun of them on video, instead of in writing. Join us as we bitch about Kate Winslet's weird sausage dress, Gwyneth's Contagion, the mysterious case of a feathered bowtie, and other curiosities.

Kate Winslet's kids love it when mommy upchucks. Taylor Swift thinks Jake Gyllenhaal is "vain." New mom Mel B "laughed so hard the baby popped out." Kellan Lutz has a roommate named Dick. TGIFriday gossip.

Here's a trailer for Carnage, a movie based on the Yasmina Reza play God of Carnage, about two yuppie couples warring over an incident between their sons. It was filmed in Paris but takes place in, of course, Brooklyn.

As we speak, Hurricane Irene (upgraded from "tropical storm" this morning and the first Atlantic hurricane of the season) is ravaging the Caribbean. So obviously, the next question on your mind must be, "But how are local celebrities doing?" The New York Post will have you know that Kate Winslet narrowly escaped a fire at Richard Branson's private isle in the British Virgin Islands. Branson's guests all got out safely, but his home, office, and "thousands of photographs" were "completely destroyed."

America's one-time sweetheart is returning from a long hiatus with a sexy new project. Also today: Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin hook up under strange circumstances, Aaron Sorkin adds more actors to his news team, and the potential return of Dave Chappelle.

Last night HBO's star-studded pedigree mini-series Mildred Pierce lit up TV screens across America, not because that many people wanted to see a warmed-over Depression-era rags-to-riches story, but because the culture created some need in us to watch it. Enough already.

Happy Friday: Here's a 30-second spot for Lancôme that features the beautiful Kate Winslet speaking on the phone while barely clothed. (Thanks to Titanic all of those years ago, we can all use our memory to fill in the gaps...!)

The Golden Globes and SAG Awards have been given out and the Oscar nominations have been announced, so we are reaching the denouement of the 2011 Awards Season Thrill-Parade. And, unfortunately, one of the saddest narratives of the season is playing out with one of our favorite actresses, Melissa Leo. She's gotten way too into the whole hoopla.