On the season finale of Kell on Earth, Kelly Cutrone's assistants bent over backwards to shock her with a surprise party. The most shocking part of it, however, is undoubtedly these beastly shoes.

We were too busy eating a whole bag of Robin Eggs last night to bother watching the finale of Kell on Earth. Luckily our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there for all the action, and lived to tell the tale.

We were too busy last night watching Nurse Jackie make bad decisions to bother with Kell on Earth. Luckily our very own fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was making some bad decisions of her own and has the scoop.

We were too busy winning a strawberry-shaped welcome mat at drag queen bingo last night to watch Kell on Earth. Thankfully fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was up to some shenanigans of her own.

We were too busy attending a screening of Hot Tub Time Machine so we missed the latest episode of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there with her flux capacitor to capture the action.

We were too busy dreaming about Bode Miller's backside to bother watching Kell on Earth last night. Thankfully fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working there this fall during the filming. We have a feeling she has some stories to share.

We were so busy buying bread and toilet paper for the impending snowstorm that we missed Kell on Earth last night. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there during the filming, so she filled us on what happened.

We were too dumbstruck by Glenn Close's reconstructed face on Damages to watch the premiere of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working as an undercover intern for Kelly Cutrone during filming. Here is her full report.

Kelly Kutrone, the best part of The City, debuts her Bravo reality show February 1.

In her latest video, Cutrone declares the headband trend dead, although the "Michelle Obama bringing back Camelot" head kerchief is totally hot. And you should make sure you've buried your cowboy boots in the back of the closet and have you have your collection of open-toed shoes ready for summer. And what is Kelly, herself, wearing while she says all this? Cowboy boots, of course. As she explains at the end of the video, being totally out of style is totally in style, and "pretty much everything I just said is now cancelled."