Kelsey Grammer pleads "hacker" after an evocative mass email about his ex-wife. Christina Aguilera's diva antics drive Adam Levine insane. Kim Kardashian lives vicariously through a tween. TGIFriday gossip.

Miley Cyrus takes on Urban Outfitters and Rick Santorum. An "intimate home video" of Jennifer Lopez gets one step closer to release. And Kendall Jenner is taking a safe, common prescription medication. Sunday gossip is kicking off its three-day weekend.

I've come to believe the Kardashians are but an optical illusion designed to put viewers in a fugue state, wherein brain use stalls and the ability to recognize pores diminishes. Come, let us gurgle at the Kardashians' uncanny Christmas pictures.

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

Paris Hilton denies getting paid $1 million to be a Malaysian playboy's personal Barbie doll. George Clooney's girlfriend is tied to an Italian cocaine scandal. An Inception star talks about gay trysts. Thursday gossip works hard for its money.

God help us. Tiger Woods wants to be alone with his cartoon porn. Miley Cyrus wants Kurt Cobain to be her boyfriend. Kim Kardashian wants everyone to look at her cleavage. Sunday gossip can't always get what it wants.