Nineteen-year-old Kyra Kennedy, daughter of RFK, Jr., was somehow not let into a 21+ club this weekend. I mean, can you literally even...no! This is crazy. Page Six reports that Lava at the Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona, New York—described on its website as a "pulsating danceclub"—wouldn't admit Kyra even though she had her sister's passport.

More dirt on noted horndog Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: the New York Post obtained a list of 43 women stored on his phone, which his late wife Mary Richardson reportedly suspected documented his many affairs.

This week Michael Skakel, a Kennedy cousin on trial for murdering his neighbor, convinced a judge to relocate his court-ordered GPS ankle bracelet because the bulky tracking device wouldn't fit inside his ski boots.

The Kennedys had better start locking their doors at night, because it looks like Taylor Swift is stalking them.

The death by hanging yesterday of Mary Kennedy, Robert Kennedy Jr.'s second wife, brings the total number of premature deaths in the extended Kennedy clan—including two of President John F. Kennedy's infant children—to 11. By contrast, the official count of current and former members of the Dead Kennedys stands at nine.

Mary Kennedy, wife of Robert F. kennedy Jr., was found dead today in her home in Mount Kisco, New York according to Radar. 52-year-old Mary committed suicide, according to a source cited by Radar, though that's not been confirmed by other reports. RFK Jr. filed for divorce from Mary in 2010 after 16 years of marriage; they had four children together.

Eleanor Mondale, daughter of Vice President Walter Mondale, died on Saturday, six years after being diagnosed with brain cancer; on Friday, Kara Kennedy, daughter of Senator Ted Kennedy, apparently suffered a heart attack and passed away. Both women were 51.

Hot naked Cosmo pinup Scott Brown, the Republican candidate for Senate from Massachusetts, is only down nine points in the polls! (According to GOP-friendly Rasmussen.)

What's your favorite ancient Norse saga? (And don't say Hervarar saga ok Heiðreks—everyone says that!) Well, make room in your heart for the new Mel Gibson-directed viking film starring Leonardo DiCaprio. It should be epic.

Jackie Kennedy's half-brother James Auchincloss—the JFK Jr.-obsessed one being "investigated" for a huge stash of child porn, remember?—has now been indicted, for all that child porn. The timing could have been better. [Mail Tribune]

According to a source close to the Kennedys, Caroline Kennedy stopped her race for Hillary Clinton's seat because her daughter Rose told her, "Mom, you are above this." Right.

Caroline Kennedy will not be a Senator, and her aborted attempt at being appointed one basically destroyed the reputation of the last Kennedy left who anyone liked.

Caroline Kennedy made it official, confirming she would no longer seek a U.S. senate seat "for personal reasons." Those personal reasons likely have a lot to do with Teddy Kennedy.

Uh. David Paterson was going to appoint Caroline Kennedy to the Senate tomorrow, or this weekend, but now he can't, because she dropped out of the "race."

This is stupid. Caroline Kennedy waited until public opinion turned completely against the idea to actively pursue Hillary Clinton's Senate seat.

Caroline Kennedy is not qualified to be a Senator, because she is a lady Kennedy. Well, that's the subtext of the new argument against her.

Supposedly, Governor Paterson is going to appoint Caroline Kennedy to serve the remainder of Hillary Clinton's Senate term. Caroline Kennedy is basically the only Kennedy left who everyone likes.We like her, don't you? The lady Kennedys have historically been much more tolerable than the men Kennedys of course, and now all we have left of them anyway are smug RFK Jr and sad old Ted and some drunk kids and, uh, Patrick Kennedy. So Caroline: the Kennedy it's still cool to like! Unless you're Hillary Clinton.

Ameritocracy is some new blog site widget internet social networking community aggregator or something, in which people vote on things other people say and decide if they are relevant. Whatever, it's terrible. But there's a Kennedy involved! A real-life Kennedy! They had a launch party with two Kennedys! Robert Kennedy Jr and Robert Kennedy III! (Note to the Kennedys: there are other names.) Those Kennedys showed up because Bobby III is their "outreach director." And also because if there is one thing members of the Kennedy family know about, it is getting ahead in "a meritocracy." (Do you see what they did there?) Attached is the press release celebrating this revolutionary new website. Maybe they can hire Robert Kennedy IV as their proofreader?

Massachusetts Senator-for-life Ted Kennedy, recently hospitalized after a stroke, has a malignant brain tumor. Kennedy, who's been in the Senate since 1962, when both two of his brothers were alive, is 76. No word on how advanced or aggressive the tumor is, or what his course of treatment will be, but he's basically got between one and five years left. Enough time to see Bush out of office, hopefully. Best of luck. [NYT]

Page Six says Vanity Fair found an illegitimate son of John F. Kennedy out in Canada somewhere. His name is Jack and he "bears a strong resemblance to the 35th president assassinated in 1963." But Teddy strong-armed Graydon Carter and they killed the story! Except Vanity Fair says it isn't dead, so much as waiting on some sort of proof beyond resemblance and hearsay. Page Six, unfamiliar with such quaint niceties, is understandably unconvinced. [NYP]