Ted Cruz is back in the horse race, and this time it’s even more torturous than the last.

Text sent from today's Kentucky Derby and big hat parade in Louisville, KY: "omg Scarlett-Leigh, my hat is going over so well @ the derbs." Photo via David Goldman/AP

Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were on the Today Show this morning to discuss Kentucky Derby fashion and, man, did Johnny look incredible.

A short video cobbled together from a four-month undercover PETA investigation of a prominent horse trainer shows the underside of horse racing.

It is an afro made of feathers. New York Magazine's Daily Intel said that this other hat was the most ridiculous hat but that is incorrect because this hat is an afro made of feathers and that hat is a Kate Gosselin haircut made of feathers at best.

A woman plays it safe at the 136th running of the Kentucky Derby today. Lookin at Luck is the favorite to win. [Pic via Getty]

You like to play with the pretty horses? Step away, until you pony up some cash, ha. High profile horse racing has become an entirely corporate marketing-driven spectacle, where horses are sponsored by UPS and owned by hedge funds. The big sponsor of the Kentucky Derby is YUM Brands, owner of Taco Bell and KFC. Who could embody the noble spirit of galloping stallions better than the nation's leading purveyor of Mexican Pizzas? Anyhow, YUM's CEO, David Novak, found out the perils of sponsoring an event with live animals when a horse up and died on the track at the Derby last weekend. With no idea what was happening, Novak stepped up moments later and gave his little speech plugging his company, which has proven to the world that he hates dead ponies:

The Kentucky Derby is coming up. You don't know shit about racing. But you love betting on things! Who to wager this weekend's drug money on? Allow Jeff Johnson and Pavement's Bob Nostanovich to help. [Vice]