[An irritated sea lion pup spent four hours hiding underneath a San Diego police car before being pulled out by Sea World animal care specialist Kevin Robinson. It will be released within two months. Pic via AP]

Erin Andrews offers thanks. Chris Noth's off the market. Kandi Burruss released a statement on AJ's death. And Don Imus remains an optimist. Good morning! It's your Monday morning gossip roundup!

Anna Wintour told Oprah that she needed to drop at least twenty pounds to be featured on the cover of Vogue and Chase Crawford is set to star in the remake of Footloose.

"That Christmas tree tinsel dress is fierce, but those gloves are a hot mess. You're a tranny from Transylvania! Did I get it right? I love that guy."

In what is certain to be a landmark decision enabling the tabloid media to tie virtually any sluttily marketed celebrity presence to participation in possibly nonexistent amateur sex productions with their poorly chosen partners, a judge has ruled that Britney Spears can't be defamed by rumors that she has participated in the video documentation of the earliest, most penetrative stages of the baby-making process with vaguely vampiric househusband Kevin Federline, letting Us Weekly off the hook for their story that the couple feared the release of a tape featuring their erotic adventures. Chastiseth Lady Justice, offended that Spears thinks she has a reputation to damage: