At long last we get an unobstructed view of Zack and Miri Make A Porno, Kevin Smith's little, "Hey—Let's Put on a Donkey Show and Save the Community Center!" comedy, with this redband trailer. We were hooked quite early into the proceedings, with Justin Long's cameo as an adult male video star. (Come to think of it, the Mac guy has the perfect name to adorn a Falcon DVD sleeve.) Landing upon the perfect theme—Star Whores (maybe chief LucasArts licenser Howard Roffman could lend them a few creamy-skinned boys from his stable)—Zack, the lovely Elizabeth "Miri" Banks, and friends go upon the business of making if not the greatest porn of all time, at least the greatest erotic home video to incorporate the use of magical queef bubbles. Enjoy the filth!

· In honor of Pineapple Express opening tomorrow, we thought we'd further promote mind-alteration with this trippy Hanna-Barbera anti-drug PSA, best enjoyed after a delicious bowl of psilocybin-and-MDMA cobbler. [Attack of the Show] · Wesley Snipes' Totally Fucking Insane Tax-Avoidance Trial of the Century yields another blow for the embattled action star: He must reimburse the government the $217,000 it cost to prosecute him. [usatoday.com] ·The whole Zack and Miri Make an NC-17 Porno ratings publicity gambit is playing itself out pretty much according to script. [AP] · Fly, balloons! Fly far, and free! Take our messages to the ends of the Earth! [b3ta.com] · We'll admit to being totally obsessed with the flatulent-frosting goings-on over at Cakefarts, but if you'd like to partake in the cakey awfulness without being subjected to something quite so graphic, Cake Wrecks provides a safe-for-the-whole-family alternative. [Cake Wrecks]

With news that the MPAA has given Kevin Smith's "hey—let's put on a sex show!" movie Zack and Miri Make A Porno—starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks and due for release this Halloween—a dreaded NC-17 rating, we turned to Defamer senior editor and resident Weinsteinologist S.T. VanAirsdale for analysis. The result was an iChat exchange we're seriously considering printing up and affixing to our fridge with a taxi-shaped magnet.

Portly vulgarian Kevin Smith, whose upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno has already been sneakily marketed to internet users through the magic of bandwagon-jumping viral videos featuring stars we love from the work of more talented auteurs of everlasting adolescence, is making sure we all still remember who he is but forget why we once tolerated him. In an interview with British ladmag FHM, Smith insisted that tiny cult messiah Tom Cruise would be President if it weren't for the "that couch-jumping shit" (conveniently leaving out that said calisthenics were but the prelude to a grander PR meltdown). Smith continues slobbering over America's formerly most bankable star-gone-mad:

Once we heard that the late night afterthought Jimmy Kimmel was planning a revenge video in response to Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" viral sensation, it seemed inevitable that an onslaught of response videos would emerge. And just on the heels of Jimmy's subpar Ben Affleck spoof, Zack and Miri Make a Porno co-stars Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen are now getting in on the action. Shot on the set of the upcoming Kevin Smith comedy, Banks glumly strums the guitar and explains that she just had to take a ride on Seth's "weird-looking cock" ("It looks like an otter!" proclaims Seth) in order to meet Judd Apatow. With cameos from Office sidekick Craig Robinson, Traci Lords, Jason Mewes and Zack and Miri director Kevin Smith himself (who emerges towards the end carrying a shiny strap-on), this video not only earns brownie points for being a funny addition to the "I'm Fucking" canon, but also for its surprise twist ending.

· Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are cast in Kevin Smith's Zach and Miri Make a Porno, the story of two platonic friends who try to use the power of hardcore pornography to solve their debt problems. As the actors previously appeared together in The 40 Year Old Virgin, this film represents the kind of re-teaming effort that drives us so wild with delight. [Variety]
· In one of the final Thursday night shoot-outs at the Nielsen Corral before the networks expend all of their first-run-episode ammunition, CBS defeats ABC. [THR]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time Tommy Lee was kind enough to shake unwashed, pee-tainted hands with all his Dodger Stadium fans.

Despite Joel Siegel's limited skills at writing movie reviews—they usually consist of glowing, pun-heavy superlatives, pre-encapsulated for your pullquoting convenience—he nevertheless remains one of America's best known film critics. So when he noisily walked out of a press screening of Kevin Smith's Clerks II, word quickly filtered back to the director, who responded with a vicious rebuttal on his MySpace page. Page Six approached Siegel to give his side of the story, in what has quickly escalated into The Affair of the Fuddy-Duddy Critic Vs. The Foulmouthed Auteur:

· "After something like 'Mallrats' or 'Jersey Girl,' the expectations are in the toilet. People are like, 'He's over, he's done.' So it's easier to be, like, 'Ta-da, I'm not.' It's a much more comfortable place to work from. When you have an escalating career, and every time you have to outdo yourself, I couldn't handle that kind of pressure. But having to outdo 'Jersey Girl'? Not very difficult." Kevin Smith talks a good game to the LAT about the liberation of diminished expectations and his refusal to test his creative limits, but we bet right after the interview was over, he went home, banged his hot wife, and then rolled around in the piles of cash he's made from trotting out Silent Bob every couple of years.
· Brad Pitt: Still not bored with fatherhood after six weeks. Give him time.
· Bluth fans, rejoice: AD reruns are coming to you in HD. Oh, you don't have HD? Then feel free to buy the DVDs.
· Amazingly, a shared interest in eyeliner, lacy underthings, and being in front of the camera whenever possible was not enough to keep Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro together forever.
· Paris Hilton finds skinny bitches who are not Paris Hilton to be "gross."

NY Daily News JV gossip Lloyd Grove reports that during a recent talk at the University of Pennsylvania, director Kevin Smith told the story of one of the stranger celebrity bathroom couplings now on record, one between Silent Bob partner-in-crime Jay Mewes and skeletal Simple Life personage Nicole Richie:

· Stuff Editor Greg Gutfeld hired three midgets posing as Stuff writers to crash the American Society of Magazine Editors forum on "What Gives a Magazine Buzz." [Page Six]
· Director Kevin Smith is furious that the media is confusing his "Ben and J-Lo" movie Jersey Girl with that other "Ben and J-Lo" movie Gigli. [Page Six]
· Kelly Osbourne, biting the hand that feeds her family's reality TV show: "MTV makes me sick to my stomach...MTV only plays 35 videos a week. They used to be all about breaking new artists." [NY Daily News]
· Calvin Klein hasn't been seen in the office in a month and blindsided Philips Van Heusen execs by announcing at his February show that it would be his last. Maer Roshan's new magazine, Radar, is set to launch April 22, and immediately takes a shot at Vanity Fair. [The Word]