Amy’s Baking Company was the most nightmarish Kitchen Nightmare of all, a restaurant run by rage-filled lunatics so unwilling to change that even Gordon Ramsay just gave up. Two years after owners Amy and Samy Bouzaglo melted down on national TV, they’ve finally realized that customer service might not be their strong suit. Amy’s Baking Co. will close as a restaurant, and the couple plans to run a wholesale bakery under the same name.

The darling, precious season premiere of MasterChef Junior, one of the top five television shows about children wielding sharp knives, turned darling, precious, and bloody when one of the tiny chefs experienced the show's first-ever cute li'l slicing accident. There was blood everywhere.

Perma-perturbed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay says his big London restaurant opening was sabotaged this weekend when someone booked up the dining room with fake reservations.

TMZ published video today of the infamous couple from Kitchen Nightmare chasing a patron out of their restaurant with what appears to be a large knife.

For the season premiere of Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay returned to the scene of the crime: Amy and Samy, the terrifying owners of Amy's Baking Company.

A Scottsdale, Arizona, restaurateur whose very public meltdown in the aftermath of a now-infamous appearance on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares nearly ran him out of business can now add "possible deportation" to his mounting list of troubles.

Having already brought you horrifying true stories of fried rats and poop and murder, we return today with our third and final installment of Kitchen Nightmares: Do not read while eating! Really, don't. Seriously.

Yesterday, we brought you true stories of restaurant horror, courtesy of you, the grease-stained Gawker readership. Today: ten more tales of skeevy managers, bodily fluids, and stone cold murder.

Yesterday, we asked you, the ketchup-stained Gawker readership, for your horror stories of working in restaurants. My, did you fail to disappoint! Below, ten tales of glory.

New Jersey chef Joe Cerniglia, who once appeared on Kitchen Nightmares, committed suicide last week. Since then, his ongoing affair made the papers. And today, we find out he OD'd on coke last summer. Suicide kills reputations, too. [NYP]

Joe Cerniglia, the chef and former Kitchen Nightmares contestant who committed suicide last week, was reportedly having an affair with his pastry chef. Suicide's tendency to make all your private peccadilloes public is just one of its drawbacks.

Everybody knows Gordon Ramsay is a perfectionist, but in these three restaurants your gag reflexes will be challenged. The only thing worse than seeing all the top three disgusting kitchens is knowing they are all located in one state: NY.

Gordon Ramsay is a notorious neat freak on Kitchen Nightmares . Upon discovering platefuls of dust all around the food, Ramsay decided to invite some diners behind the scenes to ask, "Are you interested in being served dinner with filth?"

When someone thinks of New Jersey, upscale tiki restaurant shouldn't spring to mind. And when a narrow-minded witch of an owner abuses her staff and serves filet mignon on roof tiles, it's time for Gordon Ramsay to step in.

• Rumor has it Iacopo Falai is in "early talks" to open up a space inside Andre Balazs's new Standard Hotel in the meatpacking district. [Eater]
• Chocolate Bar will reopen in a new West Village location on April 28. [NYO]
• The price of certain French cheeses quadruples on March 22. Ouch! [TONY]
• Tim and Nina Zagat are launching a new food website. And The Atlantic is launching a new food "channel" tomorrow. [GS, AdAge]
• Korean food is taking over America, apparently. [WSJ]
• Sign 'o the times: Arby's first Brooklyn outpost is opening in the landmarked space formerly occupied by steakhouse Gage & Tollner. [NYDN]
• Chefs Daniel Boulud, Floyd Cardoz, and Marco Canora discuss the biz. [GS]
• Matt Oliver, doorman at M2 and brunch at Merkato 55, chats nightlife. [BB]
• Bourdain on Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: "It's a circus of cruelty, like shooting fish in a barrel with a cut-down 12-gauge shotgun. There's no cooking. It's just a bunch of dimwits—the lame, the halt and the delusional." [EMD]

Thank goodness Paris Hilton's nascent presidential campaign never took off: not only would she have worn Kitson to all the presidential balls, but she thinks the British prime minister is someone else entirely.

I love that asshole Gordon Ramsay. He combines all the best qualities we seek in television chefs: cooking skills, abusive language, a foreign accent. As well as the occasional tender moment! Kitchen Nightmares, the show where Ramsay travels to nice, homely restaurants in the New York area and berates their owners to distraction before showering them with thousands of dollars worth of new kitchen equipment, is coming back to Fox tomorrow night. And not a moment too soon—with the Republican convention wrapping up, where else will America turn for our televised dose of a blond man with an ill-concealed temper demanding that foreigners accept his help or be destroyed? See the parallels there, zing? Yes. Watch the trailer after the jump; the cockroaches represent Islamofascism:

Gordon Ramsay, you DONKEY. The Scottish-born screaming chef has that "Kitchen Nightmares" show on Fox, where he visits terrible restaurants, screams a lot, and magically transforms them into good restaurants. Nifty! But Gordon, even complete makeovers don't give you the right to kick people out in the middle of their romantic Valentine's Day dinners so you can film your stupid show.