How boring was Ben Carson’s primary party last night? The bartender was knitting a blanket, if that’s any indication.

Do not provoke the online knitting community—they're like Anonymous with pointy sticks. Knitters show no sign of relenting in their online rage against the U.S. Olympic Committee, after the USOC slighted all who love fiber arts. They've practically taken over the official USOC Facebook page.

If you mess with the Olympics trademark, a cloud of legal hurt will descend on you faster than Tyson Gay in the Men's 100 meters. Case in point: The U.S. Olympic Committee has sent a cease and desist letter to a knitting-based social network for hosting a knitting "olympics." Now, knitters are in revolt.

Virginia's rapey abortion bill, the one that would require women to submit to an ultrasound before getting an abortion, has prompted a slew of responses. People are angry! But a group called Government Free VJJ has taken an Etsy stance in their approach to the issue.

Artist Andrew Salomone has used his hacked knitting machine—an electronic little number that operates similarly to a desktop printer—to create self-portrait face masks, soundwave scarves, and other garments inspired by the Jaclyn Smith Style Collection pop culture and technology. But his piece de resistance is the recursive Bill Cosby sweater, which Salomone (rhymes with "alimony") hopes will one day adorn the real-life, sartorially splendid Bill Cosby. Such an occurrence would not only complete the sweater's pattern but also cause geomagnetic reversal. [YouTube via Buzzfeed]

In the last week of 2010, Agata Olek (known throughout New York City as "Crocheted Olek") took to Wall Street for her latest guerilla-knitting stunt. Inside, video that provides method to her madness—knitting a Wall Street fixture.

Well there goes the semiotic neighborhood. Rachel Matthews, a "celebrity knitter," has kicked up quite a kerfuffle in the UK for writing a book on how to knit historical tyrants. She's got Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and—because to leave him out would have been unthinkable—Adolf Hitler. The ever excitable Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League pulled this sheaf of prefab outrage right off the roll: "To popularize a soft, knit version of Hitler insults the memory of those who died in the Holocaust, the survivors, and those who fought against the Nazis." Not to mention what it does to the image of a pastime beloved by harmless bubbes everywhere. Is it just me or does the Knitler (thank you, I'm here all week) look a little big-hipped and sassy in a "talk to the sieg hail, girlfriend" sorta way? After the jump, knitters united respond: