Donald Trump is not nearly as generous with money as he is with opinions: Between 1990 and 2009 the aspiring presidential candidate gave only $3.7 million of his (purported) billions to his own charity.

Nine years after Sept. 11, 2001, America saw perhaps its worst outbreak of Islamophobia since the attacks.

Remember Florida Pastor Terry Jones, the guy who planned to burn the Koran on 9/11 but then called it off? He just won a car from a New Jersey dealership for not burning the book.

Anti-abortion activist Randall Terry is upping the ante on his as-yet widely unknown campaign against Islam by creating a video instructing Tea Party leaders how to pull their own Koran-tearing stunts and garner media attention.

You had to know this was coming. Jacob Isom, the now-famous "Dude, you have no Koran!" hero, has had his story auto-tuned. From Isom's one-liners, to the original news report—and more—everything about the story is now more melodic.

A Christian leader in Amarillo, Texas doused a Quran in kerosene and prepared to burn it. Just then, a rattail-coiffed fauxhemian snuck up, grabbed the holy book, and "I was like, 'Dude, you have no Quran!'" Then he ran away.

Some guy in Australia is using pages from the Bible and the Koran as rolling papers and smoking them.

Hey media! Are we done with that whole cancelled-9/11-Koran-burning story? Someone might want to tell Afghanistan, because two people died on Sunday in the Lowgar province during a protest against the discontinued event. [Pic of 9/10 protest via AP]

Saturday marks the ninth anniversary of 9/11. And, for pastor Terry Jones down in Gainesville, Florida, it's also "International Burn a Koran Day." Tonight, Jon Stewart tore apart Jones' message, Republican lawmakers' hypocrisy, and—most importantly—Jones' mustache. Video inside.

General David Petraeus, commander of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, says nutbar pastor Terry Jones' "Burn a Koran Day" could "endanger troops." Not that Pastor Jones cares! "We are revealing the violence of Islam," he told ABC. What a fun guy.

[A Palestinian woman reads from the Qu'ran in Nablus, the West Bank, on Sunday. Ramadan, the Islamic holy month, began a little more than a week ago and ends in early September. Pic via AP.]

Gainesville, Florida's Dove World Outreach Center really wants to burn some Korans on 9/11, damnit! And even though the city has denied them a "burn permit" for the occasion, they're doing it anyway. USA, USA!