We appreciate that many of you watch trailers at work on computers with no speakers. To help you out, we watched the new Twilight trailer with no sound at all and tried to figure out the plot.
So... Dakota Fanning. You know, that cute, innocent little actress. Isn't she so cute and innocent? Not anymore! Fanning was on Late Night tonight, wearing a too-short dress and discussing "steamy" lesbian scenes in The Runaways. This is not OK.
Little Dakota Fanning is all grown up and making everyone feel like a pedophile. Alongside Kristen Stewart, Dakota shakes her distressingly young chest in this music video for Joan Jett biopic The Runaways. Somewhere, Taylor Momsen is seething with envy.
Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass and chewtoy/boyfriend—New Orleans Saints player Reggie Bush—descend on Miami. Let Diddy be Diddy. Madonna's vagina is funny. Kristen Stewart got someone fired. Tiger Woods: excited to jack off? Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.
• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]
Brad's brother thinks something's rotten in the state of Brangelina, but other rumors conflict. Jersey Shore drives a hard bargain and risks getting shut out. Gary Coleman gets arrested. ScarJo on stage gets a rave review. Monday gossip starts now.
• Lindsay Lohan landed in India yesterday where she's taking part in a BBC documentary on child sex trafficking. And she's already making a difference! Just hours after landing, she hopped on Twitter to proclaim that "over 40 children" have been "saved so far." What she did to save these kids isn't clear (especially when she could use some saving herself), but why quibble over details? [Us]
• In other (and more dubious) LiLo news, the Daily News reports that Lohan has a new man: "Lindsay Lohan is covering all her bases before she ships off to India—and that includes kissing several boys goodbye." Given she's already left the country, you may want to ignore what follows from there, but the guy she's supposedly seeing is Adam Senn, the model and bad boy from first season of The City, who met LiLo during Fashion Week and is someone Senn is hoping to "get to know even better." [NYDN]
• Have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel broken up? Who knows, but he was supposedly seen flirting with a bunch of women the other night. [P6]
• Today in Tiger: The number of women Woods has been cheating with hit 13 yesterday afternoon, just as racy text messages that Tiger sent Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel surfaced. In other Tiger mistress news, a video featuring porn star Holly Sampson bragging about having sex with Tiger Woods also turned up yesterday. And Uchitel is supposedly planning to get tested for STDs now that she's found out how many women Tiger has been hooking up with.
RobPatz and K-Stew are doing it, a lot, instead of promotions. Jay-Z doesn't want to piss off Beyonce. Christie Brinkley: psycho. Diddy: birthday boy. Marv Albert Vs. 50 Cent? Fight of the year! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
Kristen Stewart's corruption of Dakota Fanning is complete, Joe Francis is filing for bankruptcy, and Kirstie Alley says Conan "acts like I bit his dick off." Thursday's gossip has castration anxiety.
Stepping into the cold air of a moonless night, Bella Swan quivered with anticipation for the Twilight: New Moon premiere. Awaiting the film's arrival at a theater near her, she contented herself with a handsome assortment of Edward Cullen-themed objects.
Cindy Crawford is in the midst of a horrifying extortion case, Chris Brown gets heckled, Daniel Radcliffe "laughs his head off" when he's high. Friday's gossip ranges from the depths of depravity to the pleasantly banal.
• Did you catch dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean's hissy fit on Larry King Live last night? It was awkward TV at its finest. [TMZ, YouTube]
• Mike Tyson had a meltdown of his own yesterday. When a paparazzo got a little too close for comfort at LAX, Tyson dropped the photog to the floor with one punch to the face. Both men were later arrested. [LAT, NYDN]
• The latest recorded phone call courtesy of Michael Lohan has Dina Lohan telling her ex that "time is running out" for Lindsay and she's started drinking again. As for how LiLo feels about having her dad air the family's dirty laundry: "My father knows nothing other than now to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." Lindsay is a normal person with a real job? Who'd have guessed? [Radar, MSNBC]
• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone were supposed to get married over the summer. But it never happened and now Martone says the couple's decided to wait until after the holidays to tie the knot. "Who wants to get married during a busy season like this? I don't want my friends having to use their lunch break to get me gifts." How thoughtful! [P6]
• Was Lindsay Lohan dating Heath Ledger at the time of his death? That was what came out yesterday when the latest clip from Michael Lohan's vast archive of recorded phone conversations was posted online. (Dina Lohan can be heard expressing concern that Lindsay was headed down the same path.) On tap for today? A call between Dina and Michael in which she tells her ex-husband that Lindsay has been cutting herself. [NYDN, NYP, Radar]
• Alleged David Letterman extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman appeared in court yesterday where his lawyer asked a judge to drop all the charges against the former news producer. The reason? Halderman's $2 million demand wasn't blackmail, silly. It was a legitimate business proposal in which Letterman could have first dibs on his screenplay, naturally. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Rihanna says she put on the tightest dress she could find to pick up Glamour's Woman of the Year award on Monday night at Carnegie Hall. She also spent $50,000 flying in her mom, aunts and brothers from Barbados to join her at the event. One person who was missing from the festivities: Her dad, who RiRi recently said abused her mom while growing up. [P6, NYDN]
