There are plenty of reasons to live in California (it's warm) and there are plenty reasons to not. For instance, you might get run over by a car and fined for it. Or you might feel as if you're constantly being assaulted by tear gas because you live next to a sriracha plant. Or, even worse, you might pay millions of dollars for a home only to inhale the fumes of sea lion shit.

Times are tough for failed presidential nominee Mitt Romney: First he's forced to endure an entire screening of Breaking Dawn: Part 2, and now he's been spotted pumping his own gas in La Jolla, California.

What will be the lasting legacy of gay marriage? A more just and equal society? Or all white people being forced onto reservations by the first American Indian president? If you ask Patricia Weber, "La Jolla resident since 1953," it's... the white deportation one.

Last week our nation's crack political investigators broke some big news: Mitt Romney was quadrupling the size of his La Jolla, California beach house. Quadrupling means "times four," did you know? Oh, campaign news is so cute. Without this story, we never would have known, or been able to determine from his mannerisms, that Mitt Romney was a rich person.