Where, exactly, are you supposed to start when the New York Times runs a Page One media piece on the word "douche"?

This is a real-life, genuine letter from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to the Sate Assembly, announcing his intention to veto a harmless bill that would've financed the Port of San Francisco. As you can see, it spells out "Fuck You."

Fake AP Stylebook on Twitter: Because real grammar geeks dig linguistic satire. (via)

The New York Times has used "epic fail" twice in its pages, excluding coverage of the phrase itself: Once in September and once yesterday. Some people are upset. Just wait until the paper starts syndicating /b/ in, like, two months.

¿Tomorrow is National Punctuation Day? ¡Yes!

Bow-tied screamer Matthew Winkler, the chief enforcer of The (Insane) Bloomberg Way—the style guide that sternly discouraged journalists from starting a sentence with "But"—had an op-ed in the WSJ this weekend. Check it out, everyone!

It's only been a couple of days since he uttered the now-famous expression, but Ernie Anastos' screw-up on TV the other night already stands as his greatest legacy. The numerous clips of the moment have collectively racked up close to a million views on YouTube thus far (and that doesn't include all the parodies and remixes); Jon Stewart suggested last night that he might adopt it as his sign-off; and, in typical fashion, you can now find it stamped on t-shirts and mousepads. Is the G-rated version—"keep plucking that chicken"—destined to become a quintessential New York catchphrase? (Or a really annoying thing that you're going to hear endlessly repeated for the next few months?) The Times dialed up former mayor Ed Koch, since he was responsible for coining the expression "How'm I doin'?" in 1969. "It has a nice sound to it," he said. "It could become a phrase that people could use." [NYT]

Because they'll say "blow job," like Marcy Wheeler of Emptywheel just did on MSNBC.

What a wonderful summer it has been, for fans of the dragged-out meltdowns of prominent Republican politicians! We should perhaps pause to recognize the contributions John Ensign, Mark Sanford, and Sarah Palin have made to our American language.

We know why you're not accepted in the fashion world: because you don't know how to pronounce the names of all those foreign designers. Don't be ashamed. Many people pronounce "Dolce & Gabbana" like uncouth Americans. Youtube can help!

If there's one thing that formaldehyde-preserved Post columnist Cindy Adams hates more than things that could not happen "only in New York," it's Poindexter politicos using big words. Like today: "Regulation"?!?! Okay, mumbledy-dumbledy!

The Special Olympics' ad campaign to "eliminate the use of the r-word" has supposedly been in the works for months. But the president's joke on Jay Leno added to its momentum:

God, this decade? It sucked. Wes Anderson stopped making good movies, the Vikings lost Mike Tomlin and hired Brad Childress, and this complete asshole named George Bush was our president. For like eight years! Ugh!

A tipster sends us this photo of an actual advertisement in Sweden, which, she explains, is a result of the stubborn Swedes' tendency to believe their fancy schools actually teach them proper English. Psht:

Ha, our Vice President said a bad word and it's on tape. "Gimme a fucking break," he said, after some Senator called him "Mr. Vice President," which is his hilarious title. Listen to the swears:

Academics remove themselves to ivory towers to puzzle over hard problems. But their isolation sometimes leads to hilarious results — like the discovery that "bad" and "dirty" are endangered linguistic species.

You weren't "laid off" last week. We'd really appreciate it if you stopped calling it that. It was just a "reduction in force"—you can call it "RIF" for short—and it only happened because certain positions were deemed "redundant," not because the company announced $10 billion in losses last quarter. Also? Please refrain from describing last Friday as a "bloodbath." It was "a day of notification." When are you going to find out about your severance package? Where can you get some cardboard boxes so you can pack up your desk? Glad you asked about that. That will all be covered by the "outplacement representative" at the "orientation session" scheduled for tomorrow. [NYT]

Bored conservatives are up in arms over the new revision of the Oxford University Press' Junior Dictionary! The sun has finally set on the British Empire, now that "empire" is no longer listed in the Oxford University Press Junior Dictionary. Also cut: "aisle", "bishop", "chapel", and "monarch." You'll be disgusted to learn what words replaced those venerable old favorites.

Did you happen to catch Barack Obama's weekly camboy YouTube this Thanksgiving? Earnest and adorable as ever, the Office of the President Elect was unsubtle in its marketing; the word "new" appeared seven times in its 600-word speech on the economy, including two prominent instances of what appears to be the Obama administration's new catchphrase: "New Beginning." It looks like we have the much-awaited replacement term for "stimulus," "bailout" and "recovery package," all of which are despised by voters.