New York City mayor Bill de Blasio continued his largely successful quest to lose the hearts and minds of his citizens Saturday when he arrived half-an-hour late to a St. Patrick's Day parade, blaming a dumb education meeting for his unabashed tardiness.

After having her bail revoked yesterday for shirking on probation requirements, wounded magpie Lindsay Lohan shirked again: She arrived two hours late for her first court-mandated community service session at the L.A. County Morgue, forcing the morgue to turn her away.

Kirstie Alley overshared with Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson, saying their substance abuse histories made them a perfect match. Craig's cocaine sympathies led to a pep talk wherein he suggested Kirstie get over her image issues to find fulfillment.

Jay finally makes an attempt to explain his side of the story, Dave retaliates against Leno, and Conan sings of NBC's incompetence and puts himself on Craigslist. Gawker.TV's Matt Cherette was up all night clipping the best parts.

Talk about A-Yo Technology. Page Six recently discovered people on Facebook! Being mean to celebrities! Meaner than them, even. Unfortunately, the people hating celebrities on Facebook aren't funny. Also, they've clearly never read comments on D-Listed. Next: Twitter! [Page Six]

"In 2005 the Southeast-based jewelry chain Mayors marketed diamond earrings with the tag line, 'She delivered your first born; now give her twins.' Fortunoff, the jewelry and gift chain with a Fifth Avenue flagship, established a push present registry six months ago." So, um, why is there a story about this "trend" (giving the mother of your child a baby bonus) now? Shouldn't Styles be on to the next big thing, like 'D&C dispensations' or 'Holy shit your period finally came honorariums'?