Good news if you're ever actually delayed — and terrible news if "late trains" are your go-to excuse — the MTA writes late passes for employees to give to their bosses when train service is disrupted.

The deadly Mexican Pig Influenza Pandemic— remember that?—yes, that. Well, it's over. FYI. It's "run its course," according to the World Health Organization. Did you survive? Cool. Ditto. I think we called this one accurately way back when. [LAT]

When bros talk about bros icing bros, they're like, "Bro, you got fucking iced." But when the New York Times talks about bros icing bros, it's like "Drinking Game Poses Query, Who's 'Icing' Whom?" Ha, "Whom?" That's an icing, bro.

Kudos to the Washington Post for its Style section feature today on Med Grow Cannabis College. Who ever heard of such a thing?! Wait. The New York Times had it when? Saturday? This past Saturday? Fucking fuckity fuck.

This wailing ringtone featuring a horsey Philip Roth sample is still better than anything Moby came up with for New York magazine. Of course, the joke is that there are no "hip literary types." [Guardian]

An actor named Kevin Byrd sent a bad, self-composed press release to reporters, which one of them posted on Facebook. A PR blogger picked it up to point out how bad it was. That's when Kevin Byrd came unhinged.

The ne plus ultra of "Stories That Prove Gawker's Just Trashy Celebrity Click-Bait Now" has finally happened. And we don't even get paid by the page view any more. What a rip.