If you told me 10 years ago that La Toya Jackson's media presence in 2013 would eclipse that of all of her siblings except for her dead brother Michael, I would have laughed at you harder than I ever laughed at her — and I have laughed at La Toya Jackson hard over the years. An entertainer of sorts whose underdog status is tattooed on her existence given her DNA and failure to achieve even Rebbie's levels of chart success, La Toya has long been something of a pop cultural joke, defined by desperation that living in the Jackson family shadow produces. From nearly a dozen failed attempts at pop stardom to multiple Playboy layouts to hotlines of the psychic and Jackson Family Secrets variety, to telling all about her notoriously private family whether by book or by press conference, La Toya's decades of bidding for attention resulted in what seemed to be an impossible to overcome public scorn.

In case you don’t trust your own eyes or sense of logic, the Jackson family has basically confirmed that at least one of Michael Jackson’s children did not spring from his seed. According to a TMZ report:

More proof that ridiculous camp divas are running TV: La Toya Jackson is getting a reality show. Hee hee!

Determining the precise level of insanity present within each member of the Jackson family has long been a favorite pastime of the team of licensed psychiatrists that is the American public.

Today on Ellen, La Toya Jackson discusses the moment she found out her brother had died. Ellen then tells a story about the time she saw Michael Jackson in New Orleans.

This season of Celebrity Apprentice is already shaping up to be a doozy! Here, LaToya Jackson tells Wendy Williams that she "got along with Star Jones as well as the people on The View got along with Star." Very catty!

A man says he stole Paris Hilton's fancy birthday cake, and offers photographic proof. Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing, then home with Samantha Ronson. Ashlee Simpson parties until sunrise with sk8er bois. TGIFriday gossip.

[LaToya Jackson and Star Jones have a survivalist moment hauling camping equipment on the set of "Celebrity Apprentice." Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Every day, celebrities are sweating on the treadmill in your gyms, hogging tables in your restaurants, and shopping in your stores. This week in #stalker sightings: Jimmy Fallon, Susan Sarandon, Michael C. Hall, and LaToya Jackson.

Amy Winehouse's self-destruction takes an unexpected turn into bimboland. Jersey Shore's stars get greedy and want fake boobs. NBC infighting escalates. LaToya Jackson has a new shot at fame. Tila Tequila takes aim at Megan Fox. Jai ho, Monday gossip.

Dancing With the Stars goes from camp to pure insanity when Donny Osmond, dressed as Jacko and wearing lipstick, dances the paso doble with Cyndi Lauper within the flashing interior of a Simon Says toy while LaToya Jackson looks on.

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

Elizabeth Edwards may have given up on her marriage. Paris Jackson knows who killed her father. Liz Taylor once tried suicide. And Palin could be trying her hand at beauty. Good morning, sunshine! Here's your Thursday morning gossip roundup!

Josh Hartnett walking around the West Village ... Rihanna heading into Da Silvano in a super-sheer top ... Jake Gyllenhaal talking to Constantine Maroulis at the U.S. Open ... Mickey Rourke walking near Bryant Park with an unidentified female ... Brooke Shields walking her dog in SoHo ... Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan riding a motorcycle for Wall Street 2 ... Becki Newton hailing a cab on Fifth Avenue ... Hugh Jackman hanging out with his kids downtown ... Rachel Bilson getting in an SUV outside her hotel ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... Jude Law arriving at the Broadhurst Theatre ... Matt Damon shooting scenes for his new movie ... LaToya Jackson waving to photographers outside her hotel ... Kate Gosselin leaving her hotel ... and Madonna leaving dinner with Jesus Luz, and later attending a performance of "The Steady Rain" starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig.

Nicky Hilton talking on her cell in Midtown ... Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen watching the US Open ... Matthew Broderick walking on East 61st Street ... Taylor Swift posing for photographers outside her hotel ... Mickey Rourke walking his dog in SoHo ... Keri Russell going to Starbucks with a friend ... Ne-Yo walking outside his hotel ... Kate Gosselin getting out of a limo ... Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale watching the US Open ... Bar Refaeli walking in the meatpacking district ... Mary-Kate Olsen leaving her townhouse with a friend ... Blake Lively walking in Midtown ... Cynthia Nixon walking on the Sex and the City set ... LaToya Jackson arriving at the Trump International Hotel ... Ed Westwick leaving his trailer on the Gossip Girl set, and going to dinner at Avenue with Jessica Szohr ... Courtney Love leaving the Mercer Hotel ... Oliver Stone standing on the set of Wall Street 2 on Park Avenue ... and Amber Rose shopping at Barneys on Madison Avenue.

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

• Ted Kennedy's death late last night sent the media into a predictable scramble. Some newspapers stopped the presses in the wee hours to change out the front page; every news network has been busy mobilizing its troops and planning various TV specials; Time announced plans to publish a commemorative edition; and the publication date of Kennedy's forthcoming memoir has been moved up to September 14 from early October.
• Some people watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's shows because they think it makes them look cool, according to a new research report. [NYT]
• The premiere of True Blood on Sunday night reeled in more than 5.3 million viewers and generated HBO its biggest audience in years. [MCN]
• Because The View is determined to provide a home to the most insufferable women on earth, Kate Gosselin has signed on to guest host the show next month, joining the likes of Meghan McCain and LaToya Jackson. [E!]

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. [MSNBC, People, NYDN]
• In other Jackson family news, Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with LaToya Jackson, which will air on September 11. Exciting, huh? [ABC]
• Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on earth—at least when it comes to computer viruses. People who seek out info on Biel online stand a one-in-five chance of visiting a site "designed to damage their computer." [Us]

LaToya wants to dance with stars. Jermaine wants a tribute concert. Now, mom Katherine wants them all to reunite for a touring extravaganza of mourning. So, how much is each Jackson worth?

• Kate Hudson is dying to have A-Rod's baby, reports In Touch: "(Hudson) just turned 30 and she's ready to have her second child," an "insider" tells the magazine. "She brought up the idea to Alex and told him that they would make a beautiful baby together, and that she would assume all financial responsibility." Sounds like a great deal, clearly. [MSNBC]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are no longer trying to hide their relationship. To make the point crystal clear, Bradley placed a "reassuring hand on her behind" for paparazzi photographers in Barcelona. [DM]
• Michael Douglas' son, Cameron Douglas, was busted on drug charges a week ago. Now his girlfriend has been arrested, too. Kelly Sott was nabbed after she tried to smuggle heroin to him in an electric toothbrush. Whoops. [People]