As the Great American Suburban Experiment comes to an ignominious end, some of the suburb's most destructive totems are falling out of fashion. Garages are far less popular than they used to be, thank god. And now, it is time to take on the other suburban monstrosity that afflicts this great nation like a plague: lawns. Ban them.

Every autumn for the past three years the well-intentioned senior boys and girls at Quincy High School in Quincy, Massachusetts have gone around sticking dozens of cheap plastic flamingos in people's yards along with signs asking for $20 donations. They call their activity "flocking." It's a harmless alternative to flash-robbing and other popular teen pastimes.

It's pretty embarrassing when you're trying to show off your bad-ass classic car and the gas pedal gets accidentally stuck. It's even more embarrassing when that causes you to drive onto the lawn of a former president.